Bonds: Chasing Pavements
by emismpunk
Summary: TIMETRAVEL He had expected just another day, instead he awoke to old wounds and new hearts. A chance to change fate but when it comes down to the wire will he be able to cut it? Meanwhile certain SOLDIERS must come to terms with their own actions and the future that they caused and the man they ruined. AGSZC, light/mention Vinstrife/Clerith REWRITE IN PROGRESS
1. Fault

First chapter! This is an AGSZC aka One true fivesome fanfiction with the possibility of Cloud/vincent and very minor Clerith (This one will go nowhere)

This story will jump from past to present and feature flash backs and alternating POVs.

Warning: Minor swearing and suggestive themes/violence.

Also I'm terrible at updating but I plan to finish this story to the end but it may take time. But PLEASE don't let that discourage you from reading. I'm constantly rewriting and updating the path in which I want this fic to take. Sometimes in order to out-write myself from what I feel is a corner or to inspire my muse.

If your rereading this, don't be alarmed if this is very different from the first time you may have read it. To new comers I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

><p><em>(PastAngeal's POV)_

He couldn't take his eyes off of the being before him.

In and out, up and down went a surprisingly muscular, yet somehow still small looking chest.

Fragile...almost...though he knew that not to be true. A blemish on the side of his face seemed to throb in agreement.

It was quiet, save for the shallow steady breaths of the sleep induced blond. _Thanks to quick thinking and a handy materia._

Meanwhile his own hollow breath seemed in that moment just a bit to loud for his own ears.

He wondered absentmindedly how things could have gone so wrong. It had been sudden, unexpected...well...at least for Genesis and he.

The 1st decided he would have to have a **talk** with a certain 'puppy' and General. That is when and **if** they decided to show their faces again.

He was just glad that Cloud had not been there to bare witness to the explosive conversation that had ensued. The Banora native knew he never wanted his youngest lover to be subjugated to the harsh words and accusations spilling from the lips of this doppelganger.

* * *

><p><em>Even if it is the truth? A voice whisper mournfully in the back of his mind. He was painfully aware of its similarity to his own.<em>

* * *

><p>Granted however, it seemed that the harsh words were only directed at them and not the teen. He was grateful for that at least. However, these so-called truths that spilled from petal lips...<p>

**Lies, **he told himself_. _Head nodding in agreement.

_If only he could actually believe that._

Still...he was certain he didn't want Cloud around the unknown man lying now so placidly on the bed in front of him.

**Even if they looked like twins.**

_Up and down, in and out._ A gentle sigh escaping pink lips.

The ravenette couldn't help instinctively reaching for the materia within his pocket. Ready to cast it if he needed. However, the man made not another noise nor movement and slowly the 1st could feel himself relax. Yet, the edge could not leave him.

_How could someone have eyes burn with the icy flames of hell? Yet, wear the face of an angel?_

It was without a doubt worrisome. Everything that the man had said to them. His claims, all the allegations shooting holes through their hearts in only a few short moments. Exploiting their darkest lies and unknowns. So rapidly and effortlessly as he tore away the veil from their eyes.

And they...well, they could do nothing but listen. It was something that tore them apart, yet the ravenette couldn't help the sense of relief that had washed over him as well. There were somethings that had needed to air but it had been to deep, to personal...to dark to touch.

With good reason too.

_Now here they were..._

He wish he could say he wasn't all that surprised. The signs had been right in front of him the entire time. _He could even feel the signs inside himself._

Yet, he still wished that the rust-haired commander would have at least confided in them...**in him**...even if just a little. Shared even the tiniest snips of the pain he was feeling.

**Instead** of having someone else spill the truth and plunge a knife through their hearts.

The ravenette wasn't sure how he could've help but he could of at least given his support to his long time lover. Could've done something, anything...they could have found the solution together or at the very least tried.

They could be there for one another when they need it most. _When he needed it._

He sighed.

In the end he found he really couldn't blame Genesis for hiding something such as **_that_**.._after all wasn't he doing the same?_

Though this man had said nothing. The 1st knew that this man's words had held the implications, the suggestion of the boat Genesis and he road...together.

_Would he truly end up like that?_ His hand ran through his hair, glaring mildly at the onyx strands. Almost daring.

He loved the color of silver. It was the color of stars on a cloudless night against the rich velvet of the sky, It was the precious gleam of his family heirloom after a good shining, it was the color of love from the silky strands of his lover.

But on him...**no**...it was the color of death.

He couldn't blame the red-head for storming off in a flurry of fury either. He was surprised however, when it had been Sephiroth who had immediately gone after the materia user. Usually it was him that had to go after and consequently calm the fiery man. Yet, even jealousy couldn't bare to rear its head as the gravity of the situation filled him.

But, that had been hours ago and had ended up leaving him alone with a harsh icy-blue gaze that seemed to do nothing but burn holes into him.

_...and look how well that had ended..._ He mused.

Tearing his gaze from the still sleeping blond he looked out an adjacent window. Grimly he watched as the sky slowly but steadily grew darker as the day turned to night.

Silently he wondered, What would tomorrow bring?

He always thought himself level headed. That he wasn't one to have his head in the clouds. Wasn't one to take things lightly.

But, he knew for certain he had been careless. He had taken his peace for granted...and now nothing would be the same again.

Lips pursuing as they continued to take in the setting sun. His gaze eventually sought out the only other figure in the room.

If this man, swordsman, SOLDIER? Was _truly_-

His eyes closed as he frowned. Grimacing at the possibility.

_Why did that even have to be a option?_

Cloud was...Cloud was...He was too innocent...too kind...sweet...He was...

The Commander often had nightmares of the young Nibelheimer getting hurt on missions. Even during the day he was plagued by the idea that teen was out there somewhere in pain.

...And as cruel as it was to admit, even to just himself. He was glad that Cloud had never made it into SOLDIER. He would be even happier if the blond quit the army all together. It would be a little harder to do things together...but the blond would be safe. And that was all that mattered, right?...

Every time the infantryman came home with so much as bruise, the tiniest scrape, even a small scratch. The ravenette felt his heart clench in fear.

He had long since understood his own desires and the possessiveness he held. More than anything he knew how wrong it could be. It didn't stop his thoughts though. His urges and instincts often overriding rhyme and reason whenever the blond was involved.

That's why he dread the day when Cloud picked up his gun or sword knowing it would be his last.

The ravenette didn't think he was ready. Knew he wasn't.

Not about the possibility of losing his young lover or the fate that may await him in the future.

**Especially it this was what awaited him.**

_How could things have ever gone so wrong?_

He didn't want to admit it. Admit that the man before him was indeed their Cloud and that they...that he...had hurt him, and badly. Very **badly**.

But, somehow that seemed to still be putting it mildly.

_What had he been thinking? Had he been thinking at all?_

He couldn't, didn't want to believe he could ever hurt his lover. Especially not his sweet little blond. His fingers unconsciously twisted the fabric of his pants, the leather of his gloves squeaking in protest.

Cloud...

His head was starting to hurt...again.

Nightmares were his constant companion these last few months and daylight brought no relief.

* * *

><p><em>...I am perfect. A perfect... monster...<em>

* * *

><p>His eyes squeezed shut until the whispers faded. Forgotten images dancing just out of his reach. Sometimes it was his heart that hurt more than his head after these...attacks?...or whatever they were. He wasn't sure and was too afraid to ask Hollander or Gaia forbid <em>Hojo<em> about them. Yet, telling his lovers seemed just as forbidden.

Slowly blue revealed once more to gaze upon a slumbering blond.

_Was this truly Cloud? Their beloved?_

He was hesitant to accept that fact despite all the evidence. All that had transgressed.

Hesitant to accept that their shy, innocent, caring little blonde, their little spitfire with a hidden backbone that could make grown men weep in awe...could ever look at him with such contempt, eyes filled with so much hatred and most of all **fear**. Towards them...towards **_him_**.

_What had he done to earn such looks?_

Oh he wasn't naive. He knew those kinds of gazes well, he was perhaps not as feared as Sephiroth or even Genesis, but he too had earn his own fair share of enemies. Even fellow SOLDIERs and civilians carried their own brands of respectable fears and righteous disdain.

But, never did he think he would ever see that look on one of his beloveds...or at least someone who looked so much like them.

_As if his soul would be blind enough to be fooled by looks._

His heart yearned with a burning need, so ready to consume him with the acceptance of this person. As if already so familiar to them. His mind however screamed with all it might against it.

_What a losing battle he faced._

He leaned forward in his chair, elbows resting on his knees as his brows drew together in deep thought.

_Would the world truly be so cruel to allow such a fate to happen? To allow an angel to fall to the hands of the devil? _

His soul cried as heart and mind battled against one another to a pointless end.

_There was no use arguing. He already knew who was right._

Though he tried desperately to squash it. He wasn't ready to admit, not yet..._not ever_. His eyes grew distant, barely registering his feet picking him up out of his chair and over to the slumbering blond.

He didn't want to thinking about...

_His hand twitched by his side._

...to _**feel**_ it...

_Fingers graced a pale cheek, puffs of hot air hitting his glove._

...to be the **_reason_**...

_Warm and soft. This close he could smell under the musk and leather the sweet scent of winter air and homemade bread._

...the **_cause_**...

_His lips grazed soft pink ones before he realized what he was doing. Throwing himself back in shock, face red as a hand covered his mouth._

The **factor**...as to why this person that lay seemingly so peaceful; was in truth every bit the opposite.

He thumped against the wall, slowly sliding down it.

_What was he doing?_

_He felt fire and ice fill his heart. _

**_What have we done to you?_**

The SOLDIER took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart.

This man was not Cloud. He couldn't be. He was too mistrustful, harsh and cold.

_But hadn't Cloud been the same way until they got him to open up?_

He shook his head

No. Of course not, he told himself...Okay, maybe the blond hadn't always been the warmest but Cloud had never been as callous as this man. _At least_ never to this extend and even with maturity and battle experience the blond wouldn't fall to such lows...or so he hoped...

_After all hadn't they done everything to ensure that Cloud would never be able to?_

Yet, looking at this man he could just barely see the shy but, eager eyed teen he had come to love. Instead he saw...He saw a man that looked as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. As if life's only purpose was out to get him.

Like death awaited him around every corner and maybe it did or maybe...something far worse...

Still was it possible for someone that held such minuscule amounts of someone he loved, truly be his beloved?

_Even with their precautions was it truly possible for one person to change so much? Could an angel really be striped of their wings?_

And who...whoever would dare to break someone so lovely?

The frightened look this man held in his eyes burned in the back of his mind.

_no... His mind could only whisper in a silent mantra._

He took in a particularly deep breath, he knew somehow he had caused this person pain. Whether they were truly Cloud or not. Whether by accident or...purpose but there was something that worried him far greater than his own actions.

Eyes that burned brightly with so much emotion and..._something else_.

His fists un-clenched, fingers twitching sporadically as he tried to calm himself.

Let's say he did entertain the thought that this person was Cloud.

Only there was one major problem.

Cloud had failed the SOLDIER testing.

_Why then?_

Sure someone could retake the exams but it was easy if all you had failed was the physical or even classroom tests. The psychological portion however, was much harder for one to gain entrance back into.

With good reason, ShinRa couldn't afford to have a bunch of super charged men with fragile minds running amok. _Not good for business. _

And Cloud had failed that part. _It had been for the best..._

To soft, forgiving of everyone but himself. Guilty complex or so they had announced. A great leader and teammate but someone who could easily fall prey to depression and self-destruction and for ShinRa it meant weakness. Weakness was not something they could afford for such powerful soldiers.

_Why then?_

Cloud was meant to be the normal one. The pure one, untainted by Mako or ShinRa.

_Why then?_

He wasn't blind and he knew he had done some less than honorable things in his life. Some of which haunted his darkest hours and it was something they had all agreed Cloud should never experience.

Yet...here lie a man that might as well crush all his hopes and dreams.

Surely Cloud would not be able to take the exam again. Perhaps with their connections they could arrange something, maybe. But that was a big if? _As in **if** they would actually use them...they wouldn't._

Truly he was a despicable person, worse than dirt. Silently he begged Cloud would forgive him should the blond ever find out.

He could only hope the blond would understand.

He had to, they had to. It was for the best, for the teen's safety, his happiness.

* * *

><p><em>Since when do living lies equals happiness? The same painfully mournful voice muttered.<em>

* * *

><p>He tensed, breath stalling as he processed the words.<p>

His heart started to race on it's own accord. Trying not to look at one place for too long as his vision faded in and out.

_It was happing again. Would **that** show itself? What if the others came. They couldn't see it._

He was sure his eyes must be dilated at this point.

He had to calm down. Now was not the time to argue with a voice inside his head. _Even if he was sure it wasn't just a voice._

He couldn't allow it to use his guilt against him.

What was done was done. It's what had been done for the best. For Cloud's future.

* * *

><p><em>And look where that got you...<em>

* * *

><p>His eyes widened, his own mind couldn't be implying that this man was the result of...of...their actions. It couldn't be true...<p>

No...No they just wanted Cloud to be safe and happy. The wars and battle of nations and men would never touch him.

They would make sure of it. Had promised that no matter what they would always be there.

They would protect him.

* * *

><p><em>You didn't...<em>

* * *

><p>For a moment he felt his entire body freeze.<p>

They didn't...

He didn't...

He didn't...

He didn't...

...and Cloud suffered for it.

Slowly he got up. Feet trudging again to the side of the bed.

His gaze plastered itself to the te- man's face.

_Of all the people to look like. Why him? Why did it have to be him?_

It was so easy to see his lover lying there and not a reaper clothed in black.

This man was far more unassuming, almost peaceful as he sleeped. Mouth open just the slightest to let tiny wisps of air to escape pink lips.

_He had to stop himself from leaning forward._

There was a tiny knit of eyebrows, while blond hair created a mockery of a halo against the pillow. Head titled against fabric as it so delicately caressed a heart shaped face.

It was a sight he was all too familiar with and one of which was all too wrong in that moment.

Everything about the man screamed familiarity. He could image caressing pale skin, he could see his hands roam head to toe over barely there freckles on warm skin.

_His fingers twitched in anticipation, he would not give into their urges._

The ravenette could almost feel the taste of those pouted lips against his. All the while he could clearly picture running his fingers through ever gravity defying hair, knowing it to be baby soft.

_His body begged to be united._

Cloud was beautiful that was undeniable, Genesis often said he was positively angelic looking. It was something the broadsword commander both loved and loathed.

_ There were too many eyes and wandering hands for his liking. All of which he knew wished to corrupt such innocent beauty._

And this man looked far too innocent for someone who's eyes blazed with Mako.

Denying his own wants, the 1st knew he had to listen to reason. He couldn't allow his judgement to be clouded by looks or feral urges.

This wasn't Cloud... _at least not the one he knew. Not the one of now._

Regardless of who this blond truly was, at the moment he was a danger.

Gloved hand running gently across his own throat, the ravenette could still feel the phantom caress of the man's blade against his throat.

Despite that battle having long since past.

His head started to ache again and he had to steady himself on the night stand. Sending a lamp crashing to the floor.

Luckily the blond stayed deep asleep. Unaware of the inner turmoil the Commander was facing.

In and out

In and out

In and out, the 1st breathed. Eyes closed as images bombarded him. Only this time one stood out.

* * *

><p><em>The silver of blade and something white. Yet, the feeling of desperation and overwhelming guilt filled him. Someone else was near him. Yet their face always remained blurred, voice muffled. <em>

_He was glad._

_He didn't want to know who it was._

_This person who had struck him down, _

_Who he had given his most precious possession to..._

_Because he had a feeling he already knew..._

* * *

><p>Body and mind finally began steadying themselves.<p>

He shook his head, trying to clear the remnants of the ill fated dream.

* * *

><p><em>Memory, his mind whispered.<em>

* * *

><p>"You're crying."<p>

Not for the first time his body seized in shocked. But it was not a voice inside his head that spoke to him now.

Slowly he looked up to see see electric blues staring blankly back at him. Accentuated by golden lashes and pale skin.

They weren't a bad fit, however he still preferred baby blue.

* * *

><p>Okay I promise this is the last time I redo this chapter. Much to my own dislike, I did end up omitting a large chunk of the original chapter. Hopefully I took care of misspelled words and made the sentences more suitable for reading.<p>

Added a few references from chapters further down the line (Which may or may not change), which as you guessed it might change the plot a bit.

Hopefully you the readers will still enjoy this and don't be afraid to leave reviews with feedback, questions, comments or concerns. I love writing and this is a ship I enjoy writing for others.


	2. Secrets

I am slowly rewriting each chapter. Some may have greater changes than others.

* * *

><p><em>(PastGenesis POV)_

The last breeze of the day swept over him, gently stirring amber locks from their place. Quickly a gloved hand tucked them behind an ear.

Electric blue eyes narrowed at the darkening sky, the light fading from the horizon in a quiet hush. While the hum of the city below faded as night neared.

Even with the heat of his own body, he could still feel the chilling bites of the dying winter. Soon spring would come calling and with it he would undoubtedly be sent off to engage in the war.

It was something he had wished so desperately for. A chance to show what he was made of. A chance to be the hero, the one everyone looked up to.

_Once upon a time it had been..._

_Now...now he wasn't so sure._

An indescribable and unsettling feeling consumed him. Questioning and doubtful, where confidence and assurance had once been.

What did the future hold for him?

**Did he even have one?**

Was he making the right choice by this?

**Was there even a choice to be made anymore?**

Was there ever?... He didn't know.

Everything was a mess, a blur. Days constantly blending together. Faces and places were slipping away. Sometimes he couldn't see straight, let alone even think clearly.

_Where had it all began?_

The subtle burning of his shoulder drew his attention. His hand barely rested upon it before a sharp pain shot through him. Shakily he stumble forward to the railing. Quickly he grabbed a hold of it to steady himself. His teeth clenched until the pain subsided.

He heard a small noise of concern behind him.

_Oh_..._right_...

Why was this happening to him? He was barely out of his twenties for Gaia's sake! Not some old decrepit man.

Everything he had worked so hard for. For what? Would all his blood, sweat and tears he had shed simply go to waste?

**He couldn't have it all end like this!**

But, maybe there was still hope...

If what Hollander said was tru-

* * *

><p><em>Do you believe everything he tell's you? What an obedient dog. Or maybe just a naive fool.<em>

* * *

><p>Bristling from the comment the red haired commander whipped around, intended to give who ever dared say that to him a piece of his mind.<p>

Instead he was met by a silver eyebrow raised expectantly, minty eyes holding back only a thin veil of questions swirling in a pool of concern.

He quickly turned away.

Really, He must finally be losing it. This was not the first time he had been hearing...voices..er..voice.

...and not for the first time did he answer it. Or rather argue...

'Shut Up, your imaginary! I may not be able to think clearly but I'm not about to go off the deep end.'

* * *

><p><em>Sure you aren't. I wonder which one of us is truly living a life of lies. Me or <strong>you<strong>? How sad to be stumbling in the light with blind eyes. At least i'm not the one talking aloud to myself._

* * *

><p>Cat-like greens watched him silently from the corner of his eye and he could feel the fire beneath his cheeks.<p>

He ignored it to the best of his ability and let out a barely suppressed sign. Great, just great. Was there anything else the goddess would be so _generous_ to spring onto him tonight? No? Good.

As if he needed more questions on top of the mountain-load of questions he was already quickly accumulating. He was well aware he was losing it, he didn't need other to know it too.

But Gaia if looks could kill. He dare not turn around knowing those emerald greens were burning holes into the back of his head.

* * *

><p><em>Not like they haven't figured it out already. Guess what hot stuff, they know everything. Might as well confess your sins now.<em>

* * *

><p>He really wished that damn thing would shut up. Conscious, guilt, what ever the hell the mocking voice was needed to mind its own fucking business.<p>

Fingers curled against the railing, dangerously warping the metal as they tightened to the sound of laughter in his head.

He felt anger bubble in the pit of his stomach. Towards the blond or towards himself he wasn't sure. What had transpired only a short time before had been unexpected yet long over due. However it was still too sudden for him. And his confession had been more of a spur of the moment, his rage and resentment getting the better of him. All because of that stupid _beautiful_ blond's goading.

Yet, it had been nothing but the truth.

He had immediately vacated the area there after. Unable to feel the stares of his precious few. Fearful of their questions and unable to give the painful answers.

He didn't want to see their scorn and distrust of keeping them in the dark about this life changing event..._Yet,_ _hadn't Zack and Sephiroth done something similar?_

And when Sephiroth had followed after him he had wanted to yell. He felt the need to kick and scream. Shout his displeasure to the heavens.

But, instead of the harsh words and repercussions that he had expected. He was instead met only with silence. Somehow it was both comforting and distressing.

Deep down he knew they only cared, only wanted to make sure he was alright. There was no need for him to be so defensive. But, lately he could feel his better judgement become more and more clouded.

His thoughts turned to darker things as he became fixated in an unhealthy obsession, his own mind poisoning itself.

It was more than a simple midlife crisis. It was existential, his very existence felt like it needed to reaffirmed and nothing but something big would prove it.

**Big** like surpassing any and all before him, especially the man standing only a few feet from him. He needed to prove himself.

_Prove he was the strongest...prove he could protect..._

Funny, he thinks. All of this was brought about by one silly, stupid little rivalry. It was consuming him and he was on the losing end.

He could still remember his days as a cadet. When SOLDIER was still so new, so young and exciting.

Back then he had loudly and happily claimed Sephiroth as his rival to the embarrassment of both the silverette and Angeal, who had often been dragged into his shenanigans.

Yet, even then it had been more fun than anything else. He was competitive by nature but it was something he found joy in, it was playful, loving, something almost always done in jest.

Now however...he just couldn't feel the same way. Couldn't even bring himself to. Everything he had even felt about it and the people and things around him were becoming flipped, tarnished, and ruined by his disintegrating mind.

Pair that with his dying body and you had a ticking time bomb ready to explode.

He tried to think back to only a few months prior. How light and carefree he had been. Dancing with the throws of passionate love and the bubbly-ness of life. A bounce in his step and the contentedness he had felt.

_Before it had all turned to muck._

He really wishes he could have caught it sooner. He should have known. It was so obvious now.

Yet, he hadn't taken notice of the sluggishness, the ache in his bones, the degrading of his mind until it was already to late.

He barely paid mind to being worn out, chalking it up to a SOLDIER sickness or perhaps a change up in the medication or Mako during his last checkup. As he knew Hollander was often trying new things.

A fool he undoubtable was.

_He should have realized._

It didn't change the fact that he hadn't...and now he was to suffer the consequences.

He wondered was this some kind of penance?

Sins for a past life? Or perhaps his present?

Or was he simply unfortunate?

Either way he was unable to stop it.

The words that the blond had spat were still engraved into both his mind and his heart.

* * *

><p><em>Selfish...Dying...your fault...How could you?...to me...<strong>to him<strong>..._

* * *

><p>He took in a shuddered breath.<p>

There had to be a way to stop this disease, curse, whatever it was from happening or at least lessen it...right?

**There had to be something.**

He couldn't give up. He couldn't let that doppleganger mess with his head. Regardless of what was thrown at him. _No matter how truthful it sung to his core._

_Even if the words came from the splitting image of his dear. Even if for a fraction of a second he swore he saw those cold blues show a hurtful innocence. It made the red head's heart ache in pain and something else he dare not admit._

He shook his head lightly. Getting a curious glance from the silverette besides him.

Eyes could be deceiving. It didn't matter who this mysterious man looked like. He was still a criminal, a threat. It didn't matter if he shared the same sad look in his eyes as his Cloud or that his scent was exactly the same or tha...

Oh Minerva! What was he thinking? This man wasn't Cloud...He couldn't be...? Unless...

No no, that would be absolute madness. Even just to think about that possibility was ridiculous. He decided it would be better to simply disregard it all together.

It was better left in fairy-tales and to the theories of madmen.

But disregarding it left him with few other possibilities.

He knew Cloud already existed. That was stating the _obvious_.

The blond was one, unique, irreplaceable person. Not to mention the teen was an only child with no other family but his mother. Even if this man was somehow some long lost relative...Which would explain why he looks like their Cloud at least.

...It still didn't explain why or how he looks like a SOLDIER. If he had been in the program, at least one of them would have noticed. Especially with the amount of skill the man apparently had.

Was he apart of some underground organization or rival company that made their own brand of SOLDIERs? Some group that had figured out how to make their own super soldier? Was this man their representation out to test the waters or prove their superiority? Or was he simply set out to terrorize?

That could actually explain quite a lot he decided. And if he ignored the man's physical similarities to his lover, it made it even more believable.

Yet, it still didn't explain the way the man made him feel.

Why when he had gazed at that face or so much as even thought about it, it made him feel so...guilty...pained...in love...

He couldn't actually be attracted to the man, could he? No, of course not.

It was simply his face. The similarities he shared with Cloud.

That had to be it.

It was hard to imagine, let alone picture his youngest lover ever baring Mako eyes or wielding a sword covered in blood. To see him dressed mournfully in all black and looking so...broken...

It was an image that left more than a bad taste in mouth. It was something he loathed to ever see become a reality. _He had made sure it wouldn't_

And to have this...man...who not only looked like a splitting image of his lover. But, looked as if he had ripped himself from one of the Commander's nightmares...It was hard to take in.

Nearly as hard as it was accepting his decaying mind and body.

It was beyond agonizing to realize how far he was beginning to fall and not knowing where else he could land. He could feel his body collapsing under this unknown disease at what should be the peak years of his lifetime, his youth ripped from him in what seemed like only moments

Perhaps Hollander could have cured it then. Stop it. Fixed it. Maybe he still can?

* * *

><p><em>As if, the voice snorted. Are you still blabbering? Truly you are blind <strong>and<strong> deaf it you cannot filter the truth from lies._

* * *

><p>Teeth clenched, he had half a mind to yell back at it. What then? Should he just allow himself to die. Go softly into the night? He was Genesis Rhapsodos for Gaia's sake. He came into this world kicking and screaming, he'd be damned if he didn't go out without a fight.<p>

He wasn't a fragile little flower or some helpless babe unable to defend itself. Regardless of how his body felt.

So why? WHY HIM?

Why was he the only one being affected?

Why was he the only one suffering?

Why was he to die because of his own body?

A different voice in the darkest recess of his mind whispered it was Sephiroth and Angeal's faults. They had been SOLDIERs as long as he had, they had been injured and committed just as many sins as he.

It was their faults that his body had started to disintegrate faster than it had been. They had caused the wound on his shoulder, unable to heal itself. It was their fault that he had less time to find a cure. To **Live**.

He clenched his fists, teeth clinking together.

It **wasn't** their fault. They hadn't known. They weren't apart of this. And there was no telling it couldn't still happen to them.

So he couldn't let himself be taken over by this uncontrollable aggression. He was stronger than that. He had more pride than to let himself be controlled by these terrible emotions.

He shouldn't allow himself to feel as if he needed to prove his existence. He had more than enough proof.

Were not his lovers alone proof enough in themselves?

Letting out a shuddered breath and squaring his shoulders, the rust haired commandered tried to relax or relax as much as he could in this situation as he leaned onto the railing. The only thing keeping him from falling to the city miles down.

He could feel Sephiroth's eyes on him again.

Often times it seemed like he was looking through the eyes of someone else entirely. That it was someone else that he was watching deteriorate. It was easier to think it was someone else that was losing their life and not him.

How he wished that was the case.

It **wasn't.**

_Did that make him a terrible person...probably...but he knew that already._

At one time he would have once thought that this was his chance to shine. It was suppose to be, it could be.

He breathed in deeply, fists clenching and un-clenching. Trying to contain barely suppressed nerves.

Somehow he wished that this whole thing...this war...Wutai...ShinRa...could just be all done and over. At this point he wasn't even sure he would survive till his deployment.

He gave a quick glance over to his silver haired companion before immediately snapping back forward. Sephiroth let out a sigh and shifted, causing the red haired man to halt all movement.

It appeared however, that the other was as caught up in his own thoughts as much as he was in his own to strike up a conversation. Or maybe he just knew the red head wasn't ready...not yet anyway.

Sephiroth for all his lack of social skill was remarkable good at reading the atmosphere.

The quiet companionship was something he was grateful for, somehow the other's presence was welcoming in a deep, almost needy way. Something he had been denying himself of since he had realized his condition.

Still it made a warm heat spread through. Quickly replacing his anger and tension.

His gaze found itself focusing on the smoke covered city of Midgar. The stars shut out by thick layers of pollution.

It was in these instances he wished he had never left Banora, then he could gaze upon the stars above him to his hearts desire. However, the lights from the city below him would have to serve as replacements.

Sometimes he felt like a god looking down. Even with his weakened state, he could almost feel like himself again...more than his self actually.

At the very top of the ShinRa tower, it became its own place. Somehow it became separate from all the hub bub and daily happenings of those below. A place to relax and forget or at least try to anyway.

He was sure his silver haired companion had similar thoughts.

Casting a sideways glance over to see the tall silverette leaning almost casually onto the side of the building, and ever so conveniently blocking the only exit. While he, himself hunched over onto the railing a few feet away.

The general looked almost passive, almost being the key word.

The red clad man however could see the hidden turmoil in the quiet twitch of lips and what he could only call something close to rage and dare he say hatred, despise in those minty eyes?

The first emotions was easy to place, but the second he couldn't tell if it was towards the sudden appearance of the blond that was currently locked in their apartment or towards something or someone else.

He wasn't sure he wanted the answer, considering his own thoughts on the matter.

"Genesis..."

Said man jumped at the voice, sucking his teeth at the action of being startled so easily.

Neither had spoken to each other in what seemed like hours and judging by the darkened sky that was probably the truth.

He turned towards the other reluctantly. Taking a deep breath as he mentally prepared himself for the in-suing conversation.

Blue and green clashed.

"We need to talk." Sephiroth's gaze never left Genesis, an unreadable look upon his face

Genesis knew this was the end, there would be no escape. He had dug his grave and now he had to lie in it.

"Yes...we do." He finally replied.

* * *

><p>The whispers of his mind let loose a content sigh.<p>

* * *

><p>Rewrite of this chapter done, I think this one is my favorite and I love writing for Genesis.<p> 


	3. Who?

Here's another chapter, this one takes place a bit before hand and you will find I will do this story on two timelines (past/present respectability) until they converge completely into the present. That way you can get a feel of the characters thoughts and actions as clearly as I can write them as I want this story to be based off the most likely emotions they would feel in this situation.

* * *

><p>It was sunny, the air crisp with the lasts of winter, the ground still holding its snowy embrace yet a certain warmth filled him. Perhaps it was simply his imagination or the feeling of his lovers all together again.<p>

It had been sometime since they had last been all there. Each on various assignments or missions Always it seemed, one thing after another.

But today, today they were once again all together. He had no paperwork or missions. Angeal had just gotten back from tending to the troops stationed near the border of Wutai, Zack from routine monster hunting, their youngest lover Cloud from guard shift and they had finally been able to round up their wayward lover Genesis as well.

He knew secretly that the rust haired man had been avoiding them but for what reason he wasn't certain and bringing up the topic would only set the fire user off. He worried that perhaps the other was avoiding them because he was seeing someone else. That couldn't be true, _he hoped at least_ but he pushed that possibility into the back of his mind.

Caught simply in the moment of the day, he ignored it for now. Basking instead in the familiar and pleasant presence of his loved ones.

He was usually so on guard but times like these that were _just so_ welcoming and enjoyable he didn't see it coming.

He wasn't exact on when he had gotten separated from the others but he had. He now stood somewhere that looked like an abandoned yard of trains. The train graveyard, _how wonderful. _He thought, while pulling out his PHS, ready to make a call to one of his lovers and find out where they had went.

It was also times like these he was glad he **_always_** carried Masamune with him.

Just barely had he stopped the blade from cutting his throat.

He couldn't help the instantaneous rage fill him.

How dare someone attack him.

__Who __would in their right mind try to?

* * *

><p><em>...time has come...<em>

* * *

><p><em>What was that?<em> He had thought, flashes of something going through his mind but to quick to be caught and just as quickly as they had come he had just as quickly forgotten them as well.

The matter at hand far to important to ignore.

For an instant he thought it was Genesis, he knew the red head was prone to do so in an attempt to catch him off guard. _He never did though. _Even with the man's aggravating persistence in doing so lately.

His second thought was that it was Angeal or Zack judging by the blade against his. Yet that was unlike either to do something like this so suddenly and without warning.

It certainly couldn't be his little chocobo either.

_An assassin from Wutai, that woman...Elfé was her name, maybe?_

But no, the weapon in front of him wasn't something he could see either use.

Yet he found himself mesmerized by the blade before him. It looked like something some of the more tank like SOLDIERS carried, almost like the one Angeal always carried with him. This was however so much more different and held a weight to it _he was certain now_ wasn't_ entirely_ from the sword itself.

His eyes travel up the spellbinding metal piece. All the while taking in all the tiny scratches and niches. It had seen many battles that was for sure but it also looked well taken care of as well. Perhaps he thought, even more than Angeal took care of his.

He continued up over the gleaming metal and up until his gaze finally settled onto a pale face. It had been only seconds for this to all take place but he felt like it had been eternity.

Inhuman green met inhuman blue.

* * *

><p><em>It's good to see you, C...<em>

* * *

><p>The images started to slow but he still couldn't make out what they were. The voice was muffled but sounded familiar.<p>

Mako blue glared back at him and he couldn't look away. _A part of him didn't want_. For once in his life he had the fleeting notion that this was what others felt about him. However, these eyes were different than his. It was more than just the color. They were so different from the ones he was used to, the ones he knew.

They seemed so much more brighter than Genesis or Angeal's and dare he even say his own. The Mako within them glowing voraciously within them.

These eyes also told a tale of sorrow and tragedy, cold and hard.

He had never met a SOLDIER with eyes like these. Eyes so expressive yet closed off in ways he had never thought of berfore.

_And SOLDIER, this person could only be one with eyes so bright._

Yet, what took him back the most was the cat like pupils. Regardless of their smallness compared to his own, they were still distinct and noticeable. To any non-enhanced person they may have simply overlooked this fact.

_He didn't think these eyes liked to be stared into long enough for others to notice anyhow._

But never had he met someone who shared that aspect of his. Never had he even thought he would ever meet someone who shared something so innately his.

He had always been told he was special, a part of him thrived on that fact as he knew it to be true. Even if it was only his arrogance speaking. Yet another part, a larger part than he cared to admit always felt misplaced, out of sync with others even with the affection of his lovers. He always felt a void in him because of it.

But here in front of his face was someone so different yet so similar to him. He could feel it in his bones, the piece to fill his void.

_...or so he thought..._

It was finally then he noticed those eyes were attached to a face, a familiar face. One he knew all to well. Loved all to well.

The name rolled off his tongue before he could stop it. Spilling past his lips in a whisper, breathlessly.

**"C-Cloud?..."**

It was as if his whole world had stopped. His breath lodged in his throat and he had to remember how to breath properly.

Never had he realized a day would come when he would stutter, but never did he ever think he would face off against his only blond lover as well.

_**N****o**,_ that _couldn't_ be right. He had just seen the blond barely minutes ago and the other was definitely not a sword wielding, Mako eyed man in black. He wasn't sure he had even seen the smaller one wear it before.

His mind was reeling, his almost subconscious control slipping as he literally flung himself away from the other. A few, yet precious and badly needed feet between them. He needed to breath, he needed to think. This was entirely unlike him to be so undignified and scattered. Let alone completely and utterly taken off guard.

His mind had to be playing tricks.

The person before him looked like an exact replica of his shortest love if only a slightly more defined, sharper version. Like someone had taken their blond and aged him up a few years.

He didn't get a chance to think far on that matter before he was paring blow after blow, he realized steady being pushed back and almost completely on the defensive.

**_Never._**

Who was this person? Even with 2 against 1, Genesis and Angeal against him. They could barely keep up with him. They would have to use all their strength and intelligence just to be able to match him. But this person was doing so without any seeming effort and more. Without a sweat or any inclination that this was anything but child's play to him.

While Sephiroth was finding it harder and harder to breath. He could feel himself succumbing to fatigue, something he hadn't felt in a very, very long time.

Their blades continued to sing against one another, the metal jungle of neglect serving as their stage.

* * *

><p><strong>"Why?"<strong>

* * *

><p>A one worded question with a thousand meaning and just as many answers.<p>

It instantly had him on the defensive. They had broken away just seconds before, allowing a small break and he realized a chance to catch his breath. He distantly felt something warm against his side but refused to take his eyes of the man above him in order to check it.

The man with the buster-like sword had said nothing in their exchange up until this point but to say something now _in that quiet voice he knew so well,_ was something he hadn't been expecting.

He could only stare back at the other whom was perched like some angel of death above him on the rusted metal of a long ago abandoned train. Sword gleaming in one hand, electric blue eye quietly gazing down at him.

The setting rays illuminated the man. _How long had they been fighting for?_ The light seemed to absorb into him, the blond's skin and hair turning to gold and making those eyes glow all the more brighter.

Was the man some kind of angel? Devil? Regardless he was perhaps the most beautiful thing the silverette had ever seen.

His eyes caught the others again. They weren't as fierce as he had seen them earlier. They looked conflicted, contemplative, and most of all pained.

* * *

><p><em>You are just a puppet...<em>

* * *

><p>That had sounded like his voice but when had he said something like that? His head was starting to hurt.<p>

That still did not dissuade the fact the other was posed to strike once more, the blond taking his silence as an answer all its own.

The glare of the sun was growing, casting the blond in its shadow. _Definitely an angel, he was sure he had seen a halo or maybe a wing? Didn't they have two though?_

It was becoming harder to stay focused, let alone think.

He readied Masamune for the next strike but it never came.

"Sephiroth! There you are." Zack yelled, bouncing over but stopped short.

His head whipped towards the ravenette, the nerves in his neck screamed at the sudden action.

He glanced back over to the place the mysterious blond had been just moments before but found nothing.

_How? He couldn't have imagined all of that, imagined him, could he?_

"Seph! You're bleeding!" The normally smallest voice out of them raised the highest.

Sephiroth looked down as Cloud,_ his_ Cloud rushed over to him. It was then he finally noticed.

His side sported a long and deep gash. _When? _How had he never noticed something that large. Was he that caught up in their battle, that focused, that lost. He had never felt it?

_"Why?" The blond had suddenly pulled away from him just before saying that._

The adrenaline finally working its way out of his system, he could feel his eyelids sag. Numbly he heard his lovers fuss over him, yelling, asking him something but he couldn't make out what they were. Darkness starting to creep at his vision.

_Had he truly lost that much blood? _He looked to his side again, the clothing was utterly dyed red and the ground around him shared the same shade.

Remotely he could see green start to fill his vision, Genesis was attempting a healing spell even as darkness consumed him. Distantly he though he could see the foreign blond across from him and his lovers. Again some unreadable emotion on that pale face before he dissolved into the shadows. Those haunting blues being the last thing he saw as he slumped forward, the panic cry of his lovers following after.

_Who was he?_

* * *

><p>Before anyone complains and says Sephiroth is too weak, remember this is before he was merged with the lifestreams effects and jenova. Before he was <em>gifted <em>and changed to his _mother's_ liking and his so called God-ness. A time when he was actually _human_ with the emotions to match.

Meaning POST-AC Cloud would most likely end up being an equal or greater for the past-Sephiroth.

It's well known he's a match for crisis core and POST-Sephiroth.

I mean seriously in Crisis Core, he was just an infantry man yet not only did he lift Angeal/Zack's buster sword without any seeming effort that had flew and wedged itself into the floor.

Cloud was also able to thrust it hard enough into Sephiroth _(Now doesn't that sound dirty)_ that he not only pierced the man through and through but practically shattered the glass to Jenova's tube as a result _in one blow no less_.

You can chalk it up to adrenaline or element of surprise _(given seph's mind-state)_ but still that's a pretty impressive feet of strength and speed to do so without the other noticing or being able to stop him.

An it's my personal opinion, even if Seph hadn't been thrown/jumped into the reactor _(depending on what source your going by)_ it's unlikely he would have survived long with that injury.

Therefore it stands that Cloud as an enhanced man with SOLDIER like ability and strength would be able to defend himself quite well if that's what he had going for him before hand.

Not to mention he is the only one, time and time again that can truly fight Sephiroth. One on one and live to tell the tale without taking any serious _physical_ damage (aka losing a life and limb).

But enough with my rant on Cloud's badass-ery, time to work on the next chapter.


	4. Why?

This is an AGSZC story. But, Cloud x Aerith may be felt at times. It will NOT however go anywhere and will really only be apparent in this chapter.

Warning: A bit of swearing but nothing too bad.

* * *

><p><em>(Present)<em>

Cloud huffed, blowing bangs from his face.

He wasn't sure how long he had been trapped in this apartment. _It was better than a lab at least._ His wrists ached from where they were restrained to the bed that was bolted to the floor with SOLDIER issued straps. They were the same type Hojo had used on Zack and eventually him during _that_ time.

A shiver ran through him.

He continued to stare at the paint on the wall. _It was moving or maybe that was just his mind playing tricks on him. _He snorted,_ it wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary for it to do so. _

He breathed in slowly, blinking as he did so.

Who knew how long he had been lying in this bed, hours? Days? Who knew.

All the while he contemplated this he tried to understand his own thoughts and emotions as well.

There had been no sight of the others but he had a feeling that wouldn't last long.

There was however doubt on whether the anticipation he was feeling was in dread or something else entirely

He scowled at nothing.

He was was beyond angry at the moment. _Pissed off was the better term._

Hadn't he done enough.

Hadn't he saved the world enough times.

Hadn't he shouldered enough pain.

Hadn't he gave up his own happiness too many times to count, time after time. Killed _him_ countless times for the sake of others.

Even as the tears flowed down his face and the nightmares curled around him every night until they bled into day, tighter and tighter, pulling him into the void. Choking him with the memories.

Hadn't he-

He blinked back tears.

Why couldn't he just be happy, he had a new family to take place of the old even if something was missing. _He couldn't bring himself to acknowledge the last part_.

He now had a family that was supported of a misery ridden asshole such as himself. One he could return to without fear at the end of the day and know they would still be there. One that he cherished now more than anything in the world.

Yet that was no longer a possibility.

He screwed up.

He wasn't sure how or why.

But Gaia had so generously decided that what he had done just wasn't enough. He had to start over. At the beginning and in more way then one, the end as well.

He had understood it had been dying but he had thought, had truly thought it was healing. Green had started taking over where once had only been grey and filthy brown of broken cities and land. The people were healthier, happier and more devote to taking care of the planet more than ever. No more deadly diseases from the lifestream, no more Jenova, no more..._Sephiroth._

* * *

><p><strong>So why?<strong>

* * *

><p>Sometimes he wondered if in some past life he had pissed off some god or goddess or another to deserve such a fate. Perhaps the goddess Minerva herself, he thought humorlessly.<p>

Regardless, that didn't mattered at the moment.

As far as he knew he was stuck here. For how long he couldn't be certain. He might be stuck here forever as far as he was concerned. He wasn't sure that even if he fixed things he would be sent back and even if he did, he definitely wouldn't return to the way he knew things were.

He wouldn't return back to the people he knew and loved.

Though, they would have to twist his arm behind his back to get him to admit it out loud.

That brought a small smile to his face in fondness.

But the thought of not returning to 7th Heaven with AVALANCHE made his heart ache in a way it hadn't in a very, _very_ long time. The thought that they wouldn't even know his face or name brought an unsettling cold upon him.

The worst part was he wasn't positive on which would be worse, fixing things or leaving them as is.

Yet there was nothing he could do at the moment.

He still wished this was nothing more than some terrible nightmare and any moment he would wake up. But wishing did nothing. This was too real, too detailed, too _alive _to be anything but.

It was just too much and certainly was more than anything a product of his deranged mind could ever come up with.

All he could do now was simply wait. Wait for what he didn't know. Escape? A fight? Something else entirely?

He sighed. Nothing could go right for him, could it?

He thought back to how he ended up in this situation.

* * *

><p><em>(Past)<em>

He had woken up in Aerith's garden.

His first sight had been forest green eyes.

He lay there calmly for moments or maybe hours. _Who knew in a dream._ Suddenly he bolted upright, surprising the girl into taking a few steps back from him. _Ever careful of her flowers mind you. _

Cloud was used to dreaming of Aerith and her garden. _It was much better than dreaming of other things...of **other** people._

But this, this was certainly..._new_. He couldn't help but noticed the differences as if they were glaring out at him.

Aerith looked the exact same. That is if you _ignored_ her slightly more girl like appearance. Yet, she was still the same kind and level headed young woman he knew...she...however, did not seem to know him.

Secondly, she sported no pink. No pink dress, no pink ribbon instead a simply blue dress and white hair-tie in there place. He remembered the gown from memories of Zack's. Ones that had long since filtered out of his mind but had still left their impressions on him.

Despite that he had still _always_ associated the brunette with her signature color. Never anything else.** _Ever._**

When he dreamed everything was constant, nothing changed. He thought that it was perhaps his mind's way to cope. So many things had constantly changed in his life, left him with so many unknowns he wouldn't recover them for years. Most had been for the worse and in such a short time period as well.

That was why his dreams were always the constant.

If he could keep one thing. Anything the exact same in his dreams then maybe, maybe he would have a bigger chance at keeping them clear in his memories as well.

_Keep them from fading away. Dissolving into nothingness and leaving him blank._

He never wanted to be that way ever again. It took him forever to regain his past memories including ones, he sometimes wished had never been brought up again.

_It made the betrayal, the loss and hate all the more harder and so much more harsher._

So why? Why was he suddenly dreaming of her in something else? Something he had no true association with.

He glanced at his surroundings. The church which had always been in some sort of disarray especially after the remnants had left it in ruins, looked...well it looked extremely well taken and much better than he ever remembered, _that Zack even remembered._

There was no hole in the ceiling, no crashed pillars, no overturned pews. A thin layer of dust here and there but nothing as bad as he was accustomed to

He continued his quick inspection, taking note of all the differences he did not immediately recognize and the ones he could recall no memory of whatsoever.

Final he noticed where he had been lying, he was surrounded by her flowers. A short sigh of relief left him. This was something he was used to. But there was something wrong here. He frowned.

They felt...real, _too real._

He caught sight of sunlight shining through one of the windows onto gleaming metal. His swords, put together and intact and wholly out of place in his dreams. Never had he dreamed of his sword save for nightmares and never in Aerith's garden either.

Dread was slowly creeping over him.

Surely he must me dreaming, this was just his imagination. _Right?_

Yet...his dreams had never had such intensity, the colors never as vibrant, never this much detail, texture and _the fragrance..._

_Oh Gaia._

It was too powerful to be anything but real. It was something that could only be smelled in such magnitude and severity by the flowers themselves.

He shook his head at that notion.

That _couldn't_ be. The flowers had long since been over taken by Aerith's healing well.

He took a look around him again. His eyes finally resting and focusing on Aerith again in thought, widening as they did so.

_It couldn't be..._His hands clenched.

_Nothing he did would ever bring her back...**them back.**_

* * *

><p><strong><em>So how? Why?...<em>**

* * *

><p>He must be imagining things, that could be the only answer as to this odd world he had been placed into.<p>

"...Are you okay?" His eyes snapped to the flower girl again. She was looking at him cautiously yet a concerned look deep in her eyes.

__This was becoming too much.__

He must have finally lost it. This was some kind of hallucination or delusion from a mind that had finally broken down utterly and completely.

He could only stare. This wasn't at all like what he was used to. What he knew. He felt light headed and noted faintly he felt the need to hyperventilate.

_This couldn't possibly be real._

A weight dropped in his stomach.

"I ha-I have to go..." He slurred out, attempting to stand but felt his knees buckle beneath him as soon as he tried.

Aerith was instantly by his side.

"You're in no place to go anywhere." She said firmly, he could see out of the corner of his eye a determination in her own.

It would be no use in fighting her.

He didn't have it in him at the moment anyway.

His body felt like lead and her warmth was too good to be ignored, he felt himself relax against hers. Even as his better judgement told him not to. The body he leaned against relaxing as well.

* * *

><p>If he was going insane, <em>Not that he wasn't already. <em>He might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

* * *

><p><em>(very small time skip)<em>

He guess he should be grateful for the comfort, the warmth and the familiar-ness but somehow it had made him mournful as well.

Regardless of her own weariness of him at first because of his eyes.

Which he felt she well should be.

Ever the caring and motherly figure she was. Aerith had made sure he was 100% before he was even allowed to get up again.

His protests could barely leave his lips before she would shoot them down and away.

Though, he was allowed to help her tend to her flowers that he had inadvertently squashed.

It always left him smiling inside only to quickly be replaced by a somber one.

Despite the rightness that was Aerith, he couldn't deny that this situation was entirely wrong.

He tried desperately to believe that this wasn't real. Even as a small part of him that was quickly growing as the days past wanted it to be.

He entertained the idea that this was a chance. A gift, something he always dreamed of that was finally coming true.

A chance to actually be there for her. Yet it left him with an equally grim thought that he might ended up failing her...again.

Yet in order to succeed he would have to do _things._..he would have to kill. He would have to face _them_...

_He didn't think his heart could handle it._

He had not stepped foot out of the church and couldn't bring himself to even look out its windows. _Just incase_ he caught sight of them. Regardless of the fact it would make no sense for them to be in Sector 5 let alone near this church. Non had met Aerith as of yet or at least what he could remember of there social lives.

His heart clenched painfully in his chest.

He loved her he did but his love for them was something he didn't want to pit it up against. _He knew which one would win and he couldn't stop the feeling of needing to puke at the wrongness of it._

He shouldn't feel that way about them, even after all this time. After everything they did. Everything they caused to happened to him and those he cared about. Even Za-

He blinked his eyes from the sudden moisture. Even the bubbly ravenette, he couldn't stop his feelings of loss and resentment at the taller man for leaving despite the fact the man had no control over _dying._

He had lost everything and though he had gained a lot of new things back. It did not dismiss all the pain and torment he had been put through because of them. _What he was still being put through._

He sighed,_ he seemed to be doing that a lot lately. _He brushed his fingers over the soft petal of flowers without much thought.

Consumed instead by his own raging emotions.

He still held on to the hope this was all his imagination. In some way it seemed better to think this was a mental break down than to think (to _know) _it was real.

* * *

><p><em>It wouldn't hit him until days later in the form of a certain silver haired man with mint green eyes that this was as real as it could ever get.<em>

* * *

><p>Soon however he had finally been deemed well enough to get up and move about at his leisure and Aerith thought the best way to help him continue to recover was some good old fashion fresh air.<p>

He had never had a fear of the outside, if anything he preferred it to the indoors. Even as a child he felt more relaxed and at home taking walks in the forest or scaling a cliff or mountain side then he did at the small house he shared with his mother. Even as she worried and told him not to as he could get hurt. But being the stubborn little one he was he often did so anyway.

He was still that same stubborn child, or at least that is what Tifa would say with a scolding look on her face despite the laughter in her eyes.

Yet it was this stubbornness that was to blame as to why he could never admit out loud what bothered him, what he felt and what scared him.

But now he almost wanted to yell out his fear. Admit he was scared.

He was scared to leave the safety of Aerith's church. Scared of the possibility he may come across one of _them._

* * *

><p><em>How very real that fear was and how quickly it would become true.<em>

* * *

><p>That in itself scared him almost more than the thought of catching Hojo's eye again did.<p>

Yet, he had foolishly said nothing.

Lips tight as ever he reluctantly let himself be pulled out of the safety of the building and out into the open.

He was sure the Turks already knew of his presence or at least Tseng did. He had seen the raven haired man on occasion when Aerith open the doors just a little too wide and a little too long. He knew the other must have see him as well but had yet to approach him, at least...for the moment.

He followed after Aerith quietly, like a sore thumb he could feel more than see people's eyes on him throughout the day.

He brushed them off or tried to.

He should have asked for some kinda cloak or at least a hat to disguise himself, even if only a little.

But he hadn't and now he stood there with his wild blond hair, glowing eyes, black leather and cloth, 5'7'' glory.

It didn't help he had decided to bring his sword with him as well.

If he was looking for attention, he certainly found it.

That was for sure.

* * *

><p>Aerith, however paid no mind to the obvious gawking towards her companion. Content to enjoy the open air and sell her flowers to anyone she could.<p>

Today, she seemed to have no problem with that and was quickly getting low on them. She chalked it up to a sudden interest in flowers but knew it was really because of the handsome blond she had dragged along with her.

She glanced over to him. He seemed lost in space.

She laughed quietly, he seemed oblivious to the longing eyes from fangirls and boys that came up to her to buy a flower.

If only to need a reason to approach the man.

Their attention was almost always solely on the blond, faces red with growing blushes and squeals leaving them when ever Cloud replied back to any of their comments or questions.

He always looked confused and would look questionably over to her after and it was time like that she couldn't help a chuckle escape her.

It was then she would see even more confusion in his eyes and she couldn't help but let out an actual laugh.

He was adorable like a lost puppy or baby chocobo based on his ridiculous amount of hair.

She could already see a growing group follow them the longer they were out.

She smiled and looked into her basket, it was almost empty now and decided now would be a good time to give the poor blond a much needed break.

She informed him they could head back now, chuckling at the flustered look on his face from a few girls that were asking if they could have his picture.

"Well let's mosey then." He grunted, untangling himself from a particularly brave and handsy one.

All Cloud wanted to do at this point was to go run and hide. _Gaia, he sounded like a lost child._

* * *

><p><span><em>That is the end for now.<em>

I'm breaking this chapter into two and decided to leave it off on a happy note for once. Next chapter will include more on Cloud's thoughts and his fight with Sephiroth.

Thoughts on Cloud:

He is definitely angsty in this fic, that's undeniable but I also wanted to show a different side of him as well.

I wanted to show that he is still deep down that innocent trooper with larger than life dreams. Despite all the crude he's been through he would still be that person to get embarrassed easily _and a bit oblivious of it at first_ by excess attention and would blush like crazy all the way.


	5. Love and hate

Second part to Cloud's thoughts and actions. If you've read this chapter before you may notice some differences. I didn't really like this one so I went back and fixed it so it is more to my liking. It ended up developing into a another long chapter so it was split up again. (Look for author note at bottom)

* * *

><p>He had been on his way back with Aerith to the church.<p>

They had somehow made their way all the way to the sector 7 slums and were currently passing through the border of sector 5 and 6.

It had been a fairly good day, the weather was nice and the crunching of snow under Aerith and his' boots was calming.

_Even, despite all the effort he had to put in to shake off a few people here and there._

_Who were all these people?_

He sighed in agitation, finally being able to lose the last of them.

Throughout the day he had been followed by groups of young people all day.

They had progressively gotten worse as it went on and whenever he would look almost desperately at the flower girl for help.

_Not that he would admit something like that out-loud. _

She would only laughed at his expression. He didn't know what was so funny but at least she was happy and seemed to be selling a lot her flowers today so that was one good thing.

* * *

><p><em>The thought that these were fans of SOLDIER and that he was quickly becoming their new favorite never passed through his mind.<em>

* * *

><p>Regardless it had been a good day. Well, it <strong><em>had<em>** been...

When Aerith laughed he wanted to smile at the action. Of course his smile was always a tiny thing, just a quirk of the corners of his mouth.

_He would't smile like he had once did. He wasn't positive he even could._

Yet, he gave Aerith his sad excuse for a smile or would have...had not out the corner of his eyes he caught sight of it or more specifically caught sight of them.

**_"No..."_**

He had breathed out the word as if it would erase the sight before him.

Passing by the side street Aerith and him were standing in as she gave a flower to a little girl.

He saw them. All of them.

_His nightmare was truly becoming a reality. _

He had the fear he would see them but he hadn't imagined it would be so soon. _He had hoped so anyhow._ Perhaps he would come across one or two but not all of them.

But that wasn't what got him, not really...

He had seen **himself** with them.

That young, starry eyed, innocent self.

The person whom had yet to see the true horrors of the world.

Someone who had not yet been defiled beyond belief and torn apart, piece by broken piece.

It was him or rather the him that had once been.

Who he had use to be.

_The person he wished he still was._

It caused a longing in his chest.

It also caused the blackness in his heart to bubble.

He saw his younger self smile widely and laugh out loud before quickly covering it, blush on his face at something Zack had said.

He looked so happy, eyes not yet filled with mako but bright with warmth and laughter.

_When had been the last time he had laughed like that? Truly and out loud so carelessly?_

His fists clenched at his side. Face marred in a deep frown.

...this, this was going to be the person they would ruin beyond repair.

The person they would throw away like so many others without care or a second thought.

He had spun on his heal and headed in the direction they had went. He wasn't sure why. He knew it was foolish but at the moment he just didn't care.

He had to go. He needed to if only to get rid of the brewing storm churning within him.

He would only watch but if push came to shove.

He was going to make sure he didn't get hurt again.

He'd be damned if he allowed the same fate to befall him once more.

* * *

><p>Aerith stared after the retreating blond in shock as he stormed away so suddenly.<p>

She was only a minute or two from the church but as she watched the retreating form she wanted to shout out to him to wait.

She had almost said something, had wanted to say something but she had seen the look in his eyes.

She could tell he had unfinished business.

Urgent matters that he needed to settle.

She wasn't sure were or with who but she held onto the hope that maybe when it was all over he would come see her again. Even if only to chit chat.

She smiled then, wishing farewell to the child as she began her short walk back home under watchful black eyes. Meanwhile she took in the aroma of one of her flowers that she held to her nose in fondness. She hummed to herself thinking about nothing and anything at the same time.

Wishing the mysterious blond all the luck.

* * *

><p>Cloud was fuming, the longer he had followed after them.<p>

He had luckly went unnoticed by the five but his attention was always on them.

He wasn't sure what he would do if he was to confront any of them, let alone all of them.

Staying in the shadows, he silently watched from afar and biting his bottom lip in anger.

The actions they shared with each other, the sweet nothings and gentle touches.

_Fake._

His anger was threatening to boil over at all the affection they tossed around almost offhandedly because he knew..._he knew_ in the end it was nothing but an illusion.

He wasn't sure if he was just jealous or if it was something else... _how could you be jealous of your own-self thought?_ He shook his head, eyes focusing back on the five.

Perhaps he was jealous of the ignorant bliss.

How nice it must have seemed back then to have four lovers...ShinRa's best.

It must have been like a dream to have those gorgeous men say they loved you, to hold you, kiss you and...

He felt a blush rise to his face. Mako blue's narrowing immediately after.

_It was so nice to have been living that dream...if only...it hadn't have turn into a nightmare._

_Yet, it had _and he knew he didn't want it to happen again.

He wouldn't let it happen.

He huffed, his skin was really starting to crawl. and his sword was calling for use.

He sighed, he was beyond conflicted.

He loved them, he hated them, he loved them, he hat...

He didn't want to fight any of them but his rage and deep seated hatred sure did. It was justifiable but his love was unpredictable yet somehow still so strong despite everything.

His mind must be more damaged then he had thought...or maybe, he really was truly insane.

But it didn't explain why more than just his head was messed up.

Why his heart ached in such longing yet his mind recoiled in disgust.

Maybe that's why he had acted mostly on instinct, quickly taking the silverette of all people off guard.

The man had not been his first target, he wasn't really looking for a target at that moment but he couldn't stop himself when the other had become separated from the others.

His mind for the moment was allowing the blackness inside his mind to win...at least, for now.

Yet, despite how he couldn't stop himself from attacking the silver haired man.-

* * *

><p><em>...and consequently pushing both of them off the streets and he realized into the train graveyard. Which he was grateful for as no civilians would be hurt, not that there had been many out in this area anyhow.<em>

* * *

><p>-He also couldn't stop the warmth inside him at seeing such a mundane but clearly <em>human<em> emotion such as surprise appear on the general's face as their blades met.

It was so much more different from the cold, sadistic smirk he was now so familiar with.

It had made him want to shout in joy at the almost forgotten memory that this man was indeed human at some point.

He had the want to drop his sword and disregard it then and there. The want to take the other in his arms and kiss him till there was no tomorrow was almost to much to deny.

However, he didn't. The floodgates were too undone to be held back now.

All those repressed feelings...

All the thoughts that he had buried so deep inside him were finally bubbling to the surface after being suppressed for so many years.

And they were taking over with a vengeance.

The anger...

The defeat...

The humiliation...

The pain... and the betrayal that the man and the others had caused, left a wound in him he couldn't ignore.

A wound he couldn't quite forgive regardless of the feelings of love he still held.

When he had fought against Sephiroth before it was always with a black bile of melancholy.

_Why did things have to be this way?_

_Wasn't there another way?_

However, now all he could feel was full blown resentment.

It was then he heard it.

He almost hadn't, too clouded in his own thoughts.

* * *

><p>"C-Cloud?..."<p>

* * *

><p>Mako blued narrowed.<p>

It struck him deep to hear his name be said in such softness, the tenderness and affection was their despite the overtone of confusion.

He had almost forgotten what Sephiroth had sounded like before arrogance and sadism took their hold over him.

It was strange to hear it now instead of in some kinda of taunt. It made his heart skip a beat but his teeth grind against one another.

Sephiroth jumped away from him, putting only a small space between them and he felt the tiniest bit thankful for that.

Yet he couldn't help the thought that a taunt or snide comment was soon to follow from the silverette.

Instead the Masamune wielder was staring at him with an unreadable emotion.

It aggravated him, the feeling of the others eyes raking over him so personally like they had once did. As if this man knew him.

_Perhaps he had once did but not anymore._

It was burning to have those eyes take him in entirely...so fully like they were trying to figure out all his secrets.

He hated being looked at like that. It reminded him too much of Hojo.

...And he could not forget how those minty eyes in front of him had turned to ice, had turned harsh like acid.

_It stung in more ways then he wanted it to._

The sparks flew.

Sephiroth's blade meet Cloud's just precious moments from meeting his throat again.

Cloud could see again surprise and questioning but he would not let himself be swayed by it. Not this time.

He realized quickly that he had the upper hand. He should be happy because of that.

He wasn't.

It left him with a numbness he couldn't explain and the feeling he was even less human than he had thought.

_Maybe he wasn't as much of a failure as Hojo thought... _

His eyes narrowed, what the hell was he thinking?

He gripped the handle of his blade tighter.

They were still exchanging blows as the sun sunk lower and lower in the sky.

He couldn't stop himself when it had happened.

The other was too on the defensive, he was messy, far too open than what he was used to.

He wasn't the same Sephiroth that Cloud was familiar with, with the one he was normally pit against.

His blade had cut the air as well as something else entirely.

Yet Sephiroth hadn't seemed to notice. His minty eyes wide with adrenaline as they tried to keep up with his strikes.

_This was wrong. All wrong. Sephiroth was wrong. He was wrong._

He landed on top of a broken train. If you could even call it that. It was more like a distorted metal carcass that had long since lost its glory, instead left to rot.

Leaving behind something that could only be recognized by its former self in passing.

It reminded him of himself.

He was certainly not the same person he had once been.

He was a shell that was constantly filled and painted over but never fixed at the core, where it needed repair the most.

Instead he was left unintentionally rotting from the inside out till he would be left as broken as these trains.

_Like he had once been broken._

He felt his anger dying down, squashed beneath his own current of somberness.

"Why"

He wasn't sure why he had asked it or what he was asking for specifically.

There were thousands of answers...

_But this just wasn't right_.

The copper scent was overpowering.

This Sephiroth had done nothing as of yet to warrant his hate... but he would, if he was allowed to live...he would.

Cloud brought his blade up from where it had hung almost limply from his side mere moments ago.

It felt heavier than it had ever been and he knew deep down the reason.

* * *

><p><em>He wanted to do this.<em>

_He couldn't do this._

_He needed to do this_

_He didn't want to do this._

* * *

><p>He sighed, he could see the other unbalanced and uncoordinated in his stance from the blood-loss. He looked ready to pass out any second now.<p>

_He would end this..._

His throat felt tight.

_He would end it before it could even begin and then...then he would take care of Angeal and Genesis too._

He swallowed back the bile rising in his throat.

But the other two, he wasn't sure what to do with Zack, he knew the other man was fiercely loyal to all of them.

_The memory of that cold rainy day. That man, his friend, lover...hero, lying in a puddle red as his body quickly cooled. _

_Cloud kneeling beside him, broken mind and all. _

_Unable to do anything to help him, to save him._

He didn't even want to think about harming the ravenette but he couldn't let things be..._could he?_

**_No_**, it would just end up like before.

He could only hope the other would forgive him and that his younger self would manage.

_He never got the chance._

His heart was pained in as much joy as it was in anger over that.

* * *

><p>...Zack...<p>

His heart skipped a beat, eyes focused on the man he loved so dearly.

But Zack looked away and he took the chance to make a hasty retreat.

He couldn't, wouldn't let his heart settle back here.

_No matter how much it was crying for him to do so, even as his mind shouted against it._

He watched from an alley hidden in shadows as the silverette finally succumbed to a dreamless sleep before merging into the shadows but he knew he had been seen. Violet and green had caught blue one last time.

_He could only hope it would be the last._

But nothing could ever go his way, could it?

* * *

><p>So i've taken out a few parts, i've decided to put them in chapter 7. (I kept editing and it was getting too long and out of place for this chapter or, at least that's what I felt like.) So you'll see them put there and with more insight on what went down with genesis eventually.<p> 


	6. Zack

Zack Fair, second class SOLDIER final makes a true appearance. Finally, am I right?

* * *

><p>Zack <em>was<em> excited.

Today was their date day.

A day all of his lovers could finally spend the day together without interruption from ShinRa.

A day they could all take a load off and relax. Smiles and laughter abound.

Zack **_had _**been excited.

Now he was worried, anxious, and unsure.

The reason...Sephiroth lay unconscious on their bed.

Cloud calmly wrapped bandages around the general's midsection but he could see the younger's hands trembled ever so slightly as they did so. Genesis meanwhile attempted to cast a healing materia on him, snarling to himself quietly when the spell seemed to have no effect. Angeal and him had already taken and disposed of the ruin garments that had been shredded and soaked in red.

He supposed one good thing about this was that Seph had been wearing civilian clothes at the time so nothing of value was lost, at least...nothing that wasn't in material means.

He wondered what had happened.

What went wrong?...

...and most of all _who..._

_Who _could have possible put their silverette in such a condition? Who could have enough strength and power to leave the man in this state.

_His eyes flashed to something gold and black. Something or rather someone he had thought he had seen but didn't want to acknowledge it._

He wasn't confident he ever wanted to meet that person face to face.

* * *

><p><em>Then it's just <em>too bad that person is already in front of you...if things don't change...and fast.<em>_

* * *

><p>Zack jumped, looking around him questionably. Cloud was finishing up the bandages, while Genesis was attempting one last spell.<p>

Neither paid him any mind, focused solely on the deathly pale,_ well more pale then normal _man nestled in the sheets.

He could distantly hear Angeal in the kitchen, the small knocks of a wooden spoon against the pot as he made them dinner.

Had none of them heard that? He looked around again but not one of them showed signs of having heard anything.

Was it just his imagination?

He thought about what he had just heard.

It had sounded...it had sounded almost like...like his voice. Yet it was heavier, darker almost. Pain was clearly evident in it.

Was it his subconscious talking? But why would it say something like that? And why would it ever sound like_...**that?**_

His eyebrows knitted together in thought.

A grunt of pain jerked him from his thoughts, drawing his attention instantly to Sephiroth

Yet it wasn't from the silver haired man on the bed but from his rust-haired lover instead.

He was by the man's side in a instant, Cloud on the other.

Genesis however brushed them both off saying he was just fine.

"It just from taxation. Using up too much energy in such a short time." He said, walking out of the room. Despite the grimace on his face and his fingers clenching his signature jacket, the knuckles white as the fabric just below his left shoulder twisted in his unforgiving hold.

Zack of course nodded but he could see Cloud look doubtful. Genesis had see the look as well but avoided eye contact and picked up his pace as soon as the blond parted his lips to say something.

Genesis was lying to them...again.

**It hurt.**

It felt like the man didn't trust them enough to let them in. To let them shoulder his pain and try to sooth his suffering. Yet every time the red commander looked like he would...something...made him pull back. Resulting in a more aloof and even more painful man to look at.

It didn't help that on top of that the man seemed to be avoiding them as well.

Zack knew something was up. It was clear Genesis was suffering. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to demand what it was. Anytime he or even Cloud tried to bring it up they would be brushed off without a second thought, like just now.

_He was sure the situation wasn't much different for Angeal or Sephiroth either._

He wasn't stupid. Though he didn't use materia often, much more preferring blunt force with weapons instead but he knew the basic of what materia did to someone who over used them and they certainly wouldn't cause this much suffering and definitely not for this long. _Right?_

Chalk it up to his ignorance if they did but he also knew Cloud knew almost as much about materia as Genesis did and was pretty good at it as well. If the blond was able to get more practice he may even be better.

It was a shame troopers weren't issued it and rarely if ever got the chance to use it on missions. They lost a lot of great materia users because of that but he couldn't questioned ShinRa's methods. Well...at least not yet anyway but when he made 1st he would definitely make sure his little chocobo had all the Materia his little heart could ever want.

That however was for another time.

In the meantime he knew, just by the look on the Cloud's face he wasn't wrong in his thoughts about their red jacket lover.

"Are you two coming to eat?" Angeal's gruff voice pulled him from his thoughts. He sure seemed to have his head in the clouds today.

He took one last glance at the sleeping silverette before following after the bigger ravenette. Cloud already made his way into the dining room, taking a seat next to Genesis who was currently fiddling with his fork impatiently. His other hand rested on his cheek, lost in his own thoughts.

Angeal served the meal, a small and quick thing. Just enough to fill their bellies, it was good non the less.

Yet, the air was tense.

How had such a perfect day gone down the drain so badly? He thought, mindlessly chewing.

His eyes glazed over at the memories.

* * *

><p>They had taken a trip down to the slums, there was a new restaurant opening in Sector 7 that was supposed to be all the rage or that's what Reno had told him anyway.<p>

Somehow he had talked his lovers into going to it. _He felt guilty about that now. _

Everything was going right that day. _He should of suspected something. Should have knew something was going to happen._

The weather was nice for once despite the cool crispness and even with the small amount of snow still clinging to the ground, it felt good.

His lovers were all in cheerful moods as well, even Genesis was smiling brightly and laughing in ways he hadn't for weeks.

All in all, it was going swimmingly. They had made it into sector 7 surprisingly, without being jumped by any fan.

_How **strange** but not unwelcoming. _

Don't get him wrong he loved his lovers fans and even wanted some of his own. However, it always irritated him that he could so rarely be out with his lovers but then have those days ruined with gawking stares, grabby hands, and endless questioning towards the holy trinity.

But he supposed even _they_ needed days off from stalking. He chuckled at the thought.

They were mere minutes from the restaurant. Cloud looked at it starry eyed, his nose slightly red from the cold. _So cute. _He smiled wrapping his arm around the petit blond and pulling him close. Even as half-hearted protest left Cloud's lips regardless of the fact the other quickly welcomed the new warmth and nestled himself into his side.

He glanced at Angeal, the other was smiling fondly at them. Genesis's lips were pressed into a thin line before he stormed over, pulling the blond from his arms.

Waving Zack's protests away as he quickly gave the blond dozens of heated pecks, leaving Cloud's face red from more than just the cold.

Zack would have laughed had it not been the fact he could not catch sight of his last, green eyed lover.

That had quickly gotten all of their attentions.

They couldn't be positive when they had lost him.

They had thought that maybe he had to go to the bathroom or a group of fans had finally caught up with him. So they waited.

Yet, the longer they waited the more their nerves were put onto edge.

The silverette was a very punctual man and it was entirely out of place to make them wait so long without word or even a text.

Cue operation: Find Sephiroth

They looked high and low for the man but couldn't find him anywhere in the slums. He hadn't returned to ShinRa tower had he? Surely he would have called them or sent a message that he was.

That was when Zack heard it. The distant sound of metal against metal and the undeniable singing of Masamune.

He had quickly taken off after the sound. Despite the protests from his other three lovers telling him to wait for them.

He was going to give the man a piece of his mind...well...he hoped so at least. It was still hard to stand up against the tall general despite their years together.

He caught sight of flowing silver through the plank's of the poorly put together wooden fence that surrounded the yard. He grinned there was only one person who could possess such a color.

He rounded the corner shouting "Sephiroth! There you are." He practically bounced over had not the sight before him stopped him short.

The silverette was holding Masamune as if ready to block a blow.

That _wasn't_ right. At all.

Sephiroth more or less batted away any on coming attacks. The man always held his sword in a position that was ready to strike not to block. But here he looked like a cadet bracing for impact.

Normally straight, nearly perfect not a strand out of place hair was tangled and highly messy.

Those normally sharp eyes looked unfocused and clouded.

Sephiroth's posture looked slightly hunched over and he could tell why. Much of the ground was covered in red and the cream colored jacket the other had been wearing earlier in the day was dyed almost completely on the left side down to his boots from a large gash in his side.

But what unexpectedly caught his attention the most was the figure he had thought he had seen.

_The figure he knew he had seen._

However, when he looked back it was no longer there. He thought maybe he had imagined it. But he saw the glance Sephiroth shot over at the spot the figure had been standing atop.

"Seph! You're bleeding!" Zack turned towards the voice. Cloud was rushing over and he could only look numbly at him. Even as Genesis and Angeal rushed over as well.

But the look he had seen on the silverette's face as he looked at Cloud seemed only to confirm his own shock and suspicion.

It was only solidified more when he caught sight of mako blue's out of the corner of his eye before they quickly disappeared into the shadows.

* * *

><p>Somehow, someway they had managed to sneak Sephiroth back to ShinRa tower and to their room without anyone catching and hopefully no one seeing them.<p>

He shivered at the memory.

He had been pale as he disposed of the blood soaked clothing. Angeal tried to comfort him, thinking that it was perhaps the shock from the situation and from the sight of so much blood from one of his lovers but it was more than that.

It wasn't the fact that there had been so much blood. It was the fact it was_ Sephiroth's_ blood.

And that the person who had done so had been...

His eyes raked over the blond beside him. The other was talking to Angeal about something happily.

The air wasn't as heavy as before.

They were done with dinner, somehow despite his loss of thoughts he had finished his meal. Genesis had taken his plate and had set it in the sink before slinking off to the living room, landing on the couch with a thud. His gentle snoring could be heard a short time later.

Zack's attention focused back to the person before him as Cloud's soft laughter reached his ears.

_There was no way it could ever possibly be..._

* * *

><p><em>Then it's just <em>too bad that person is already in front of you...if things don't change...and fast.<em>_

* * *

><p>That voice. It couldn't have been implying that...that...his Cloud...<p>

**No!** Cloud had been with him the entire time. Not to mention the blond had definitely not been wearing black or caring around some gigantic sword like 'geal's.

_Mako blue burned themselves into him._

Cloud...Cloud didn't have mako eyes. He stared at the blond. Cloud had bright blue eyes sure but they were without a doubt not nearly as bright as a SOLDIERS, there could be no mistaking that.

A relief washed over him.

However, his mind shot back to the familiar face, how those eyes had widen just like his own in recognition as he caught sight of them until he had flickered back to Sephiroth.

But he had read it, the word that had silently left those lips in those few precious seconds.

* * *

><p><em>...Zack...<em>

* * *

><p><em>The mysterious blond knew him. <em>

That couldn't be true. He would remember anyone with spikey blond hair like his shortest lover not to mention someone who looked exactly like him.

His head throbbed.

_Who was he?_


	7. Settling matters

Okay before anyone freaks out and says Hey! Haven't I already read this? The answer: Yes and No.

I didn't like the way chapter 5 had originally been written so I ended up going back and redid pretty much all of it. (If you haven't seen the new one yet, go take a look) The new ch.5 carries the same storytelling as it did before. Just with more things added to it or moved around a bit.

And final about CloudxAerith, I know I said it would be contained in only one chapter but it bleed through. HOWEVER, it's getting the real Ax in this one so the focus in romance will be entirely on AGSZC.

* * *

><p>(About a month ago)<p>

He woke up feeling groggy. His head was pounding and he felt heavy.

_The effects of a sleep spell no doubt, he thought bitterly._

He looked around him, he was in a guest room. He could see a stack of what had once been his materia books in a corner beside a dresser and a old third class uniform hanging on the back of the door. Everything was neat yet homey in a way that could only come from Angeal. This he thought could only be the bearded man's home.

It brought a wave of nostalgia over him.

He shook his head trying to dislodge the on-slot of warm emotion he felt but thought better of it when it caused the pounding in his head to increase.

Why was he still caught between these feelings.

He should know better...

**_...He did know better._**

Then why did it do nothing to stop his fondness?

Why couldn't his heart just let go. His mind sure did...or...he thought it did at least.

He moved to get up, noticing then he wouldn't be able to get far. His wrist were strapped above his head and tugging against them proved to him he wouldn't be able to break them easily, if at all. They seemed familiar but he didn't want to focus on that thought for long less it bring up things that were better left forgotten.

He looked around again trying to find anything that could aid in his eventual escape.

He found nothing.

There was not one sharp object, not even a blunt one unless you counted the textbooks but those wouldn't help him now. Not to mention his sword was no where in sight.

His head made a soft thunk as he threw it back onto the pillow, a scowl on his face.

He distantly remembered how he could have winded up in the position he was in.

Most likely, it was when he had tried to attack a certain muscular 1st when they had been left alone.

Angeal must have gotten him when he had pinned the older man.

Although in his defense he had gotten a pretty good right hook on the original buster wielder. However, when he had finally been able to located a blade to finish the job. He suddenly found himself instead just trying to stay awake as darkness effortlessly flooded his vision.

His body quickly going limp and dropping to the ground...or it would have anyway.

_The feeling of strong arms wrapping around him before it could was burned into the back of his memory._

He sighed, he shouldn't have done that especially after going off on Genesis only moments earlier and with Sephiroth in the room no less.

_But, he never claimed to be the sharpest tool in the box and having a fuse almost as short as the red head didn't help matters either._

Yet, he would have to take any chance he could get.

Cloud couldn't afford to go easy on them. Especially, if things were already progressing this far...

...after all, this was not the first time that day he had woken up from the effects of sleep materia.

* * *

><p>(A week prior)<p>

After his battle, _if you could even call it that _with Sephiroth. He had stayed to the shadows and with good reason.

Not even an entire day after it. Sephiroth was up and about, stalking around the slums with purpose in his step. Not even fans could stop him from his mission.

_As if they were really a problem in the first place. _ Cloud huffed in agitation, shaking off the small group of girls on his trail. They seriously had to be part hound or something to constantly be on his tail.

His attention focused back on the silver haired general from his vantage point.

It was obvious he was looking for something...or rather, for someone.

Unfortunately for Cloud, he was that someone. He had no doubt about that.

But he wouldn't let himself be found.

He still needed to catch his breath. His mind was still reeling, unable to truly take in all that had happened the day before. Rather it was unwilling to accept what had happened.

He needed time to think and time to just breath.

All he knew at this point was that he had to do the right thing. He had to stop the planet from dying. He had millions of lives in his hands. If anything he had to make sure history didn't repeat itself.

He had to make things right.

_That was easy to say though...but did he really know what was... **Right?**_

He hated ShinRa as much as the next guy but there was still plenty of innocent people that worked for it or were caught up in its lies.

* * *

><p><strong><em>He knew that for a fact first hand.<em>**

* * *

><p>He wished there was a way that he wouldn't have to take any unnecessary lives. In the end however, this was war. Even if it was only one man against the world and with as much power as ShinRa had at the moment, that may as well be true.<p>

He exhaled deeply, this was becoming more and more complicated and he feared it would only get worse. He was too conflicted in his desires and what he knew to be true for it not to become.

He threw himself behind the corner of the building suddenly. Quickly holding his breath, he didn't dare breath.

Mint green eyes lingered on the spot his target had been moments ago, yet found no signs of any presence. The Silverette turned away, continuing his search. Despite the crawling under his skin at the feeling that someone had been watching him.

Cloud held still as a statue even long after Sephiroth had left. Finally he let out the breath he had been holding. He needed to end this. No more time for games or evasion. The longer he held out on taking action, the more things could happen. Things he wanted no repeat of and definitely no part of.

If he needed, he told himself...He would leave _them_ for last.

Cloud nodded at that thought. He could deal with that.

In the meantime he would go after Hojo and the president, Rupert ShinRa...his father.

* * *

><p>At first he had thought it was just a lie, a lie from a crazed man that couldn't possibly be true. Years later he would learn it was indeed the truth. He had seen the documents himself and Rufus despite the snake he was, Cloud knew he wasn't lying...at least not about this.<p>

It had brought a whole new level of horror and dark thoughts upon the blond.

He always questioned why Hojo had decided to tell him that piece of information.

It had probably just been to see his reaction (th_e sick bastard)_ or maybe it was an attempt to drive him insane. _Only one of thousands of way the mad man had tried._

He wrapped his arms around himself.

The scientist probably would have succeeded if he had not had Zack by his side.

Sometimes he thought that was the only reason Zack was allowed to live. The only reason why the ravenette was kept within his vicinity. Despite how Hojo's other experiments were almost **always** kept in solitary confinement. Zack and him being the only case that he knew to be otherwise.

Yet, it was clear then and even now that the violet eyed man had served no purpose to the mad man's experiments or even his sadistic pleasures. Zack was resistant every step of the way in both body and spirit, to the point it frustrated even the greasy looking doctor. Well...until he found another use for the man and that use was against the blond.

Cloud closed his eyes as the pain of the memories rushed at him. He couldn't let that happen again. He didn't want to feel that pain again and certainly not Zack either. But he would have to face the ravenette and eventually the other three as well.

He opened his eyes, the sun had long since disappeared over the horizon. He truly was getting lost in his thoughts these days.

He pushed off the wall with a focus in mind and determination in his bones.

He would take out as many threats as he could and then, and only then he would face them. Maybe it would give him time to actually think and get his feelings finally and forever straightened out.

Gaia, he could only hope.

_Too bad fate really didn't like him._

* * *

><p>He said his goodbyes to Aerith, all the while showing no signs of noticing the presence watching them or the look of relief in ebony eyes as he bid farewell.<p>

The flower girl had seemed sad for him to go but he would rather see a short look of sorrow than to see nothing at all.

It would be better if he hid someplace else. He didn't want any of them or ShinRa and consequently Hojo to ever come in contact with her.

He wouldn't let her get hurt, to get involved, to end up dy- there was no way he ever wanted to shoulder that guilt again. It was hard enough to forgive himself the first time and he was still feeling the pain from it.

He didn't know what would happen if it repeated itself for a second time.

* * *

><p><em>He didn't want to think about what would happen if Sephiroth's jealousy got out of hand again. Even if this one had yet to become the sadistic mad-man that Cloud knew.<em>

_The truth, he had known it. Even deep down in his broken little mind at the time, he had known..._the _**real** reason the cold general had killed the flower girl for._

_That was something he couldn't allow to happen again._

* * *

><p>Cloud breathed in deeply.<p>

He told himself that as long as she didn't get involved she would be just fine and she wouldn't be alone anyway. There was no need for him to worry. She'd be in good...err...capable...uh...hands.

He couldn't agree with everything the slick back ravenette had done in his life but who was he to judge...except...when it involved...them.

However, maybe this time Aerith could finally have her own happy ending. she could actually experience life and with someone who wasn't a genetically modified superhuman.

Tseng would keep Aerith safe.

For the moment that was all he could ask for.

* * *

><p>(Present)<p>

He tensed as he heard the front door open and the distant but familiar voices drift through the apartment to him.

Although he was beginning to suspect he could overpower the three judging on his fights with Angeal and Sephiroth. Those however could have simply been from surprise, they certainly hadn't expected some blond little shit to attack them and were utterly unprepared for it.

He smirked.

But he couldn't stop the feeling of dread that was bubbling in the pit of his stomach the longer the days seemed to stretch. He was defenseless now and he could barely move his body even just a few of inches. The bindings on his wrists as well as on his ankles were tight and unforgiving.

He was a prisoner.

Stuck and at their mercy, even if he could escape he wasn't as confident that he could go against all three of them at once. Even with Genesis and Angeal's degrading states.

Yet, the men had taken no retaliation against him. Angeal came in every once in awhile for food but always avoided eye contact.

He thought that this would be the perfect chance. A chance to question and get revenge or retaliation against him.

So...why?

_Why hadn't they done anything yet?_

* * *

><p>I'm thinking one or two more chapters that flash back to the past in them and then from there it should be all in present time. I already have the next two chapters in progress. I just need to edit them a bit.<p> 


	8. Voices

Sorry about the wait. I've been having a minor writer's block. However, I do have a couple of other chapters in progress as well as the climax chapter(won't be awhile for that thought) and epilogue.

Will switch between Zack and Sephiroth.

* * *

><p>Consciousness was foreign to him.<p>

His entire body from his head down to his toes tingled in numbness.

Not to mention, it felt more like he was trying to lift a steel door with his pinkie then it was just opening his eyelids. Somehow he found the simple act of trying to, as if he was putting all his years worth of effort and work into one single moment.

They certainly felt a thousand times heavier than he could ever remember.

All the while in the dark abyss of his mind, flashes of a familiar face...Mako blue eyes...gold and back...metal against metal...and his voice? The images faded in and out of sight.

A nightmare?

The burning in his side was telling him otherwise. _  
><em>

He was finally able to peel his eyelids back and sorely wished he hadn't.

Minty greens squinted at the bright light coming through the windows as he tried to focus his vision. The ceiling moving ever so slightly.

He felt a headache coming on and tightly closed his eyes, sighing at the small relief it brought.

A short time later he opened them again. Everything was still a little blurry around the edges, his body felt heavy like lead yet his head felt light. Too light to be of any good.

He caught sight of intense blues and for a moment he felt his heart stop.

"Seph! You're awake!"

Sephiroth groaned.

"Zachary, can you please lower your voice." The silverette tiredly responded.

"Sorry..." Zack replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked over the silver haired man in concern.

Sephiroth had his eyes closed again and was breathing slowly yet evenly. He seemed to be in no discernible pain but Zack knew better than to throw all caution to the wind.

"Hey...Seph..." Zack began, he was meet with a mumbled response but knew it meant for him to continue.

"That...uh...the...he..Cl-...hmm"

Sephiroth cracked one eye open. It was unlike the 'puppy' to stumble over his words like this.

"Zachary is there something you need to say?"

Zack pulled over a chair from the corner of the room to the side of the bed. Scraping against the floor and earning yet another groan and small 'sorry'.

The ravenette sat down, taking a deep breath. Eyes closing before opening again, looking soberly at the silverette.

"Look...Seph...the others are gone for the moment. Angeal had classes for the cadets he's supervising today. And Genesis had an appointment with Hollander." Violet eyes watch the silver haired man nod at that. It was something the man had already been aware off.

"...and Cloud.." He stopped here, watching Sephiroth for any out of the ordinary reactions. He was met with a blank stare.

The 2nd class let out a long breath. This was a matter that he couldn't beat around the bush with.

"I saw him."

"You what?..." Here the ravenette saw what he had been looking for. Green eyes were wide, mouth parted in shock. Until they suddenly retracted. Sephiroth's indifferent and unemotional air overtaking him. In an instant the lieutenant was facing not his lover but the General of ShinRa.

_So that was how it was going to be_. Zack sighed.

"I saw him and don't try to deny it and don't _even_ try to lie to me, Sephiroth. I haven't told the others...yet. But I know you saw him too. He was the one who gave you that wound on your side, wasn't he?" Zack said, watching a barely noticeable twitch appear on the other's face as he said it.

"Seph, we can't let someone like **that** run around. They could be a serious danger."

Sephiroth stayed quiet. His thoughts were running wildly across his mind.

* * *

><p><em>Someone had seen.<em>

_Someone else had actually seen...**him**..._

* * *

><p>"Zack, what did he look like?" Sephiroth asked, breaking the ravenette from his ramblings.<p>

"What?" Eyes owl wide, not having expected that question.

"Zachary." The silver haired general said, his patience was thin today.

The 2nd class looked down, eyes darkening. The wood of his armrests groaned in protest.

"...He looked...he looked like...Cloud...No...rather he looked exactly like Cloud." Zack finally said, this time he didn't dare look for what kind of reaction the silver haired man was displaying.

"But he wasn't, was he?" The silverette asked, trying to keep his own uncertainty out of his voice.

"No. Uh, Well...I don't think so at least. No, no. He couldn't be." Zack shook his head.

"Cloud was with us the whole time...but...that man..." Here the ravenette stopped speaking all together, lips pressed together in a thin line.

"That man what?" Sephiroth asked. "Zachary." He said, when the raven haired youth remained silent.

"...He knew my name..."

"What?" Again shocked greens were focused on the Gongaga native.

Zack flinched at the loudness of the others voice. Sephiroth rarely raised his voice. If ever. More like never.

The silverette breathed out slowly. Trying to calm his increasingly raging heart against his ribs and the boiling emotion going through it as well.

He couldn't go off on Zack for something like this. Something so...

_The thing in his heart was trying to make its way to his head_

He just needed to calm down. He wasn't one to let his emotions control him. He couldn't be swayed by something like this...by some uncalled for...pointless...insignificant thing, really. The feeling that was burning in him was something that was almost...alien to him. Sure he had felt the spark before when confronted by something that threatened to come between him and his lovers, but never to this scale.

And certainly not over something so ridiculous.

He was a general...No! He was The General. Not some child that lost their head over something senseless.

So what if that mysterious, dangerous, _(beautiful)_ man knew Zack's name.

That may be odd, yes.

But it wasn't something to be concerned about, right?

Zack was incredibly well like within ShinRa's walls. Sephiroth really wouldn't be all that surprise if the ravenette already had some fan club or another of his own. The Gongaian also spent enough time around the trinity to be known by name even by some of 1st's own fans. Not to mention the simply fact Zack had started out as Angeal's student. That alone had gotten a number of press who wanted to know who the lucky cadet was, not only for becoming one of ShinRa's newest SOLDIER prodigies but a student of one of the Holy Trinity as well.

The point was, it really shouldn't be unheard of that someone would know Zack without even having to met him face to face.

This shouldn't concern him as much as his head or rather the feeling, the voice in it was telling him he should.

* * *

><p><em>"Is not the fact he spoke his name first and not ours...not a cause for concern? <em>

_But, of course his precious puppy would be his main concern...His number one...H__is **hero**..." A __sickly sweet voice laughed. It was the same voice from when he had fought against that blond swordsman. The one that sounded just like his own but...it was one filled with so much more malicious intent in it. It was a voice laced in venom. _

_Sephiroth felt more than a shiver run down his spine. It felt better to say it was like he had just received an icy kiss from Shiva herself._

* * *

><p>The younger SOLDIER watched the silvered haired man for any other signs of aggression. After a few minutes of agonizing silence with nothing more happening. The ravenette found the courage to continue.<p>

"...He knew my name. When we had found you, when I had found you. We...he and I had made eye contact. He recognized me." Fingers laced and unlaced in nervousness.

"He knew me. He knew me, Sephiroth. I don't know how or even why. I would remember if I ever met someone that looked like that, but I don't. Only Cloud and he doesn't have any siblings or family besides his mother. We both know he's not the type to lie either and he didn't seem to be lying about that." Zack let out a shaky breath.

Sephiroth had sat up in bed despite the conflicting heavy and lightness in his body and the wound in his side whining at him. He ignored it.

"Are you sure? Are you really sure, Zachary?" Sephiroth asked. That voice in his head was starting to mock him.

"He knew me." Zack stated, no doubt in his statement. Violet eyes looking worriedly at minty green eyes clouded in turmoil. White teeth gnawing at pale lips in thought. The ravenette didn't like that look.

"On the bright side though, Clo-I mean that guy. His appearance that..Ah...Well...um, it could all just been a coincidence, right? What I mean is...Uh..Rufus and Cloud look a like or Rufus and Lazard. They aren't related though. At least I don't think so anyway. So why couldn't there be a guy out there that looks similar as well." Zack said, despite the overshadowing doubt in his own statement.

Sephiroth grunted in affirmation. His thoughts were a mess and he was just barely listening to what his younger lover was saying. So lost in his thoughts he wasn't sure for how long he had zoned out until Zack's voice suddenly broke through.

"...time travel or something."

Sephiroth snapped his head up. "Excuse me?"

"Your excused."

"Zachary."

"Heh, sorry. What were you saying?" Zack asked, glad to finally have the silver haired man out of his mindless state.

"What was that you just said?"

"Said what about what?"

"About the time travel or what you were just talking about."

"Oh! that. Well the more I was thinking about the guy, the more I started to think about who he was. Honestly I didn't think you were really listening anymore, so I was just rambling off ideas about where that guy could have come from. Like he's a spy from Wutai or an escaped experiment. You know, knowing Hojo and all. You heard the rumors righ-"

"Zachary."

"Right..Um so like what I was saying. I thought maybe he could also just be a normal SOLDIER, just maybe one we haven't met yet. Like one just initiated that somehow flew under our radar or maybe from a secret branch of SOLDIER. You think ShinRa would have something like that? I also thought maybe he could be from a competitive company trying to show ShinRa up. That might explain why he attacked you and his uniform too."

Sephiroth nodded, that would actually make sense if not for the voice in his head telling him otherwise.

"Anyway I couldn't think of anymore real ideas. My imagination kinda took over from there and I was saying maybe he's a time travel or from some kinda alternate reality or something. But, that's just crazy talk. Stuff like that's impossible."

"Of course." Sephiroth replied, eyes lowered in thought.

A ringtone filled the air right after. The two men looked around until Zack fished around in his pants for his PHS.

"Hello?...Cloudy! Hey, yea he's up. He's fine. Yes, yes. I know. Babe, relax I got this. Okay, see you soon. Luuuvvvv youu!" Zack sang as he hung up the phone, a true smile on his face as he turned back to his silver haired lover.

"You are absolutely ridiculous."

"Excuse me?" The ravenette asked.

"You're excused." Sephiroth smirked, watching the 2nd's face heat up. The voice in his head had disappeared...for now at least. He could think clearly again. However, he was still consumed by thoughts of the blond in black.

The look on his face must have informed the dark haired youth that not all was well for the lighter haired man.

"Seph, Are you okay? How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright. The pain in my side is almost nonexistent if that's what you mean." The silverette replied, which was the truth. How odd, considering it had been burning in annoyance barely minutes ago or so he thought anyhow. It could have been an hour ago or he could have just been imagining the pain. Maybe he was just imagining things. He wasn't certain that was a good thing or a bad one.

"Are you sure? Let me see. It probably needs to be rewrapped anyway. Genesis couldn't heal it last night. Cloud gave it a try but he had pretty much the same results as Gen." Zack said, sobriety taking over him again.

"Is Cloud off from his shift?"

"Don't try to change the subject...and yes but he has to drop off some paperwork about the infantry troops that can work with SOLDIERs for upcoming missions." Zack said, retrieving the first aid kit from the dresser.

"Off" He said, standing impatiently in front of the silverette

Sephiroth sighed, there was no getting out of this. "You're just as bad as Angeal and Cloud with your mother henning." He laughed.

"I am not a mother hen." Zack replied with indignity.

"Mmm...I have yet to seen proof of that."

"Shut up and strip."

* * *

><p>Okay so we get some dark but light hearted-ness in this chapter. From this point forward, you're gonna see less and less flash backs. Perhaps the only major one will be, what went down between Genesis and Cloud.<p>

Also what do you guys think about Valenstrife (Vincent x Cloud, whatever you want to call it) or AGSZC+V?

Secondly is there anyone else that refers to Lazard as Lizard on a regular bases? No, just me? Okay then.


	9. Silver and Black

In case anyone hasn't noticed, this fic is basically my headcanon-a-palooza.

* * *

><p>Sephiroth and Zack to a smaller degree had spent nearly two entire weeks before they would finally catch sight of the strange buster swordsman.<p>

Whenever they could get the chance, they spent almost all of their free time scoping out the slums for the mysterious blond. The wound in Sephiroth's side had finally healed itself but it had left a scar.

It healed nice enough though and it was barely noticeable on his already pale skin.

That didn't stop the silverette from wondered why it had taken so long. He couldn't or rather wouldn't take himself down to the labs to figure out the true answer though. As if he would let Hojo take that as an opportunity to experiment and torture him to figure out the reason. Which the silver haired man had no doubt that the scientist would.

He thought faintly that maybe it had to do something with that sword that the black clad blond had wielded. Perhaps it had been covered in some type of poison, a chemical or the man had discovered some kind of spell that would slow a person's healing rate, even...a SOLDIER's.

He wasn't exactly sure on how or even why the blond would have or be capable of something such as that. He would just have to keep a better eye out and be more weary next time.

Which he had no doubt that they would cross paths again someday.

Plus, he told himself, if his curiosity still persisted he could always just ask the blond man. _Although he doubted the man would willingly give out that information._ Regardless, the silverette would just have to wait until he could get his hands on him in order to retrieve that information. Whether it was one way or _another._

But, he had more important matters to worry about and couldn't bring himself to think too much about it. The wound was healed now. He could still wield Masamune with ease, grace within everyone of his steps and no noticeable if any hindrances to his performance.

However, despite his own weariness over the matter that had all but been dropped, the distress it brought his lovers had only seemed to escalate. Especially, Genesis whom had reacted in a way he could only describe as nearing hysteric. It worried him. It still did.

Even now as he scowered the slums once again. Zack bouncing a few steps ahead of him. He couldn't forget the rust haired man, almost as much as he couldn't forget the glowing eyed blond.

Zack and he had yet to tell any of their other lovers of their plight, something he still wasn't certain was a good idea or not.

He didn't like lying to them but he didn't want them to get hurt either. It was bad enough Zack knew and had more or less forced himself into Sephiroth's search for the dangerous blond. That however didn't mean he would let any of his other beloveds fall into danger, at least...if it could be something he could truly prevent.

He wasn't belittling Genesis or Angeal's ability to protect themselves mind you but the wound on his side was a deathly reminder. That man was not someone to take lightly. The blond was an entirely different foe than any of them had ever faced before. The silverette worried it might end up being their last.

He glanced over to his second youngest lover. Zack was conversing with a pretty long haired brunette. She smelled of flowers and seemed nice but he could see the cautious look in her eyes. He couldn't blame her. That gaze was found on many people when in the presence of a SOLDIER.

His gazed traveled aimlessly around him as Zack continued with his 'investigation'.

"Spikey! What are you doing here?" Zack's voice rang, breaking the silverette from his mindless wander.

"I could be asking you the same thing. And I was on patrol today, don't you remember?" Cloud's soft voice replied.

"Oh! Ha, right. I knew that." Zack grinned sheepishly at the un-amused frown under an infantry helmet.

"You forgot and I told you to stop calling me Spikey. It's embarrassing." The blush on pale cheeks was noticeable. Zack's sheepish grin turned predatory.

"Zachary. This isn't the time or place." Sephiroth cut in.

Cloud let out a relieved breath and a small thank you that made him smile.

A small bubble of silence then enveloped them. Making the two official SOLDIERs unease grow. The flower girl, as Sephiroth had dubbed her with her basket of flowers and scent was smiling at nothing really and Cloud was looking at them expectantly even if they couldn't see his eyes in order to determine if that was truly what he was feeling. However, non of them made any attempt to move or initiate a conversation.

"So...Spike...don't you have to get back to work." Zack said, rocking slightly on his heels. Eyes trying to keep from making direct eye contact with anyone.

"No, it ended about five minutes ago. I was just on my way back when I saw you two." Cloud responded, hands coming up to remove his helmet. Blonde lock's shaking slightly as a gloved hand ran through them.

"Cloud!" The pony tailed brunette gasped. All heads immediately snapped in her direction.

"Have we met before?" Cloud asked, brows furrowed. Helmet balanced on his hip as his soft blues met the girl's forest greens.

"Oh! Uh! No, no I was speaking about the actual clouds. Aren't they just lovely today? Your name's Cloud? That's pretty. Well, I have to be going now. Have a nice day." The flower girl laughed nervously, making a swift exit from the perplexed trio of men.

"That was...weird." Cloud said, gaze shifting from the sky to the girl and back again.

"Indeed." Sephiroth replied, eyes narrowed slightly at the retreating back. A quick glance at Zack told him that the ravenette shared the same thoughts.

She knew something. Why else would she react like that. And it was obvious she reacted that way because of their Cloud or rather was reacting to him.

She knew something they didn't. Someone they desperately needed to get their hands on...at any cost. Poor girl. They could only hope she would be willing but something told him that this wouldn't be easy.

He repressed a shiver, the voice was chuckling darkly in the recess of his mind.

* * *

><p><em>(Time: Unknown. Outskirts of Nibelheim: ShinRa Manor, catacombs) <em>

Stone grinding against stone echoed in the deathly silent basement. Chains clinking to the ground and metal grazed a black coffin. Out from the dark appeared a pale face framed by soft black. Red flowed around the ethereal like creature with its own life likeness. Scarlet eyes alight with some unforeseen emotion.

The figure quickly made its way from the room and the mansion as a whole, a look of disgust on its face at its surroundings the entire way. Only stopping momentarily at a room full of books and papers.

It did not take long for the inferno raging in blood red eyes to make its way out.

Come dawn, the residents of Nibelheim found nothing but ash where the manor had once stood. All that remained was scorched bricks and charred wood. Even the hidden basement was burned to a crisp, documents, monstrosities and all. Now it was buried under ash, rubble and snow. Never to be entered or found again.

Gaia, forsake anyone that dare try.

Not long after the Nibel natives noticed their reactor was not in any better state.

* * *

><p>And somewhere across the continents a sadistic scientist was fuming...<p>

...under glowing fuchsia eyes.

* * *

><p>I have one vote for Vinstrife and one against. I don't mind compromising but I would like to know how you as the readers feel about it. (Especially since I already hit you with Cleris) Because it canwill be a major conflict/story mover and I need to know.

Just think of AGSZ jealous of Vinny over AC!Cloudy.


	10. Haunting reds

Interaction with Infantry!Cloudy and a lovers spat.

In the case of vinstrife, there will be some however it will not be the same way as AGSZC or cleris. What does that mean? Well, your just gonna have to keep reading to find out.

P.s. You are all lovely readers and reviewers. Thank you for you support!

* * *

><p>"Cloud, you can go home you know." Zack said, eyes wandering. They had to make a detour from their original plan. Now they were walking aimlessly around the slums. Although the two SOLDIERs did take note of the girl entering some kind of run down building that looked strangely like it may have once been a church.<p>

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Cloud asked, shifting his helmet.

"Well, Umm...no..." Was the hesitant response. Sephiroth nearly face palmed at the blatant lie.

"Then what's the matter with me tagging along. You're not on a mission are you? You don't look like you are." The blond haired youth questioned, looking incredulously at the casually dressed men through narrowed eyes.

"Spi-"

"You know Angeal and Genesis are looking for you. I saw them earlier."

"Why woul-" Zack began.

"Maybe because you've been avoiding us." Accusation was evident in the blond's tone.

"We haven't." Zack tried to defend.

"You have too." Cloud snapped. The blond huffed in agitation as both he and Zack stopped in their tracks.

"Oh..." Zack replied, voice soft as he looked down solemnly.

The silence between them made the infantryman's skin shiver in displeasure.

"Sorry" The smaller of the three finally whispered.

Zack shook his head. "No, i'm sorry. We've just been...busy. Look...Cloud...thi-this is just something that's really important that we have to do and it could get really, really dangerous."

"We simply didn't want you to get hurt." Sephiroth added, worry was written into his features.

"You could have just said that from the beginning, you know." The soft response was.

"You're right. I know. I'm sorry. Really, I am Cloudy." Zack replied, trying to convey his feelings to the blond who stubbornly refused to make eye contact with him.

"Cloud please, if nothing else but to give us peace of mind. Can you please go home. We'll meet you back home later." Zack practically begged.

Pale lips opened, a protest on them before closing quickly. Cloud nodded, he would just have to be satisfied with their answers...for now anyway.

However, others would not be so quick to satisfy.

"How dangerous of a thing are we talking about here? Especially one that seems to not have left the slums...and for weeks now. Don't think we haven't noticed." Genesis's smooth voice reached their ears.

Angeal stood beside him, arms crossed over his chest.

"Geal, Gen, Hey!-" Zack tried.

"Zack." Angeal's gruff voice took on a disapproving tone. Look's likewise.

If there was ever a moment Zack looked more like a kicked puppy, it was now.

Sephiroth sucked his teeth. This situation was staring to go down hill and fast.

"Sephiroth, do you have anything to say about it?" Genesis asked, eyes blazed in anger despite his lax position.

The silverette had to bite back his response. He couldn't let them find out. They would only wind up hurt. He had already made the plan to ditch Zack when they finally came across the sword wielding blond. He had run the situation across his mind dozens of times. Escapes and actions, hundreds. If there was going to be a fight, he would be the only one that had to pick up his blade. But, if they were all here...that would be impossible to do. He could only hope they didn't come across the man today or that he had mercy at least.

"Well?..." Genesis barked.

"Gen, you don't-" Zack tried to reason.

"Save it. What do you think your're doing? Avoiding us, sneaking about and doing questionable things. Hmm?" The rust haired commander accused.

"Like you're one to talk! You've been doing just that."Zack yelled back.

Genesis was speechless and any other time, Zack would have been proud of that but not now. Now he was just angry and all he wanted to do was vent his anger.

Unlucky for him, so was Genesis.

...and perhaps unfortunately or perhaps fortunately neither would be able to relieve their anger on one for the moment.

Squealing of fans reached their ears, quickly diffusing the situation. Sephiroth let out a silent sigh of relief, never has he been more happy to see a group of swarming fangirls...

...Well, until they opened their mouths.

"Oh! GAIA!"

"It's really them-"

"Sephiroth!"

"Would you read LOV-"

Sephiroth really just wanted to call it a day at this point. However, it did not escape his notice the way a trio of girls in the back were fawning and whispering to each other. Of course there was nothing out of the ordinary there.

Unless, you counted the fact that their gaze was transfixed solely to a certain blond haired infantryman and were looking excitably at something on their PHS's.

Cloud was undeniably an attractive person and had a certain...charm about him that the silverette couldn't quite describe. He couldn't count the times he or the others had to chase off wondering eyes and just a tad bit too frisky hands from defiling their blond. That however didn't explain why now of all times, this trio of girls sight was only for the Nibel native.

Call in arrogance or paranoia but it was definitely strange.

However, he couldn't wonder about it for long with thoughts of escaping the group of hopefuls and avoiding the heated glare of his red haired lover.

* * *

><p>It was just after dusk. They all had finally been able to evade fans by slipping into the first building they could.<p>

Genesis had calmed down enough for them to attempt a more calm and civilized conversation, _attempted_ being the key word.

The rust haired commander currently sat quietly fuming in the corner of their booth. Angeal had his arms crossed, glancing slowly between a certain silverette and ravenette and then back again to his red headed lover. Cloud sat quietly between him and the fiery commander. Sephiroth and Zack on the other side of the table.

There was an undeniable bubble of tense silence surrounding them, impervious to outside forces. Despite the rowdy drunkenness found in the rest of the building.

A run down bar in the middle of sector 7 was perhaps not the best place to discuss their problems but in the end, Sephiroth supposed it was better than to so much as even whispering what was going on in the halls of ShinRa. Which had more than enough ears and eyes that would love to soak up any and all gossip and unknown happenings, regardless if intentional or not.

Still he keep his lips sealed on the real matter and lucky so had Zack. They had been able to convince their other lovers that the so called 'mission' that had them scouting the slums was due to AVALANCHE. He could see understanding in the eyes of his three unaware lovers. It didn't stop the sliver of guilt biting at him for lying.

Now he could only hope they would let it go and return back to the safety of ShinRa. _If only he could be so lucky._

It was then the red commander decided to voice his opinion. Sephiroth had to hold back the spike of anger and the want to hit something in aggravation.

"I don't see why they couldn't just send some Turks." Genesis arms were still crossed as he glared heatedly at the two secret holders. _Disregarding at the moment his own dark one._

Well...'cause y'know-" Zack began.

"-And why weren't Angeal or I informed on this. This is a very important matter and no offense but I don't see why a second class would get leeway over veterans and superiors at that, on something such as this." The red haired commander snipped.

No offense taken." Zack gritted, gripping the table perhaps a little to much. " In case you forgotten _Gen, _i'm gonna be a 1st soon enough." Zack defended while Genesis snorted at the proclamation.

"It would be cause for concern if all three of ShinRa's top were seen constantly under the plate. We'd stand out too much." Sephiroth cut in, attempting to stop the ticking time bomb in front of him from exploding.

He was used to Zack and Genesis butting heads from their own different yet equally brash personalities but lately it had been getting worse and worse and not just between the two. Sometimes the General thought he could see the thread holding all of them together slowly but surely coming undone.

"Like seeing even just_ you_ under there constantly isn't concerning what-so-ever." Genesis grumbled, finally looking away. The anger was still there but underneath it, Sephiroth could feel rather than see the hurt.

He sighed, nothing was going right lately. Just one thing after another. Maybe some Wutian had placed a curse on him, he was having trouble doubting it.

Silence once again reigned over their table.

He was glad when Cloud surprisingly piped up, helping to lighten the situation...even if only a little.

"Do you think they have any food?" I haven't eaten since this morning." That was a lie. Cloud couldn't admit it to himself. But, the intensity and frequency of the fighting in their quintet was starting to get to him. He knew couples fought but this was more than a simple lover's spat.

He knew there had to be a reason.

Of course the other's wouldn't tell him the real reason, the root of their problems.

Sometimes, he worried it was him.

He knew he was probably just over thinking these things. The real reason was more along the lines that they didn't want to worry him, didn't want him to get involved, didn't want him to get hurt.

That did nothing to stop it though.

Perhaps it did physically but, mentally...it hurt. More...he thought, than a sword through a chest ever could or foot or...well you get his point. At least he would know then. Could be apart, could be with them entirely. Help bare their pain instead of watching from the sidelines. He was their lover too, dammit! So why couldn't he...

He couldn't remember the amount of times he could hear them whispering to one another in the dead of night over a particularly dangerous mission or a harsh wound. Only to brush it off. Try to convince him it was nothing in the morning.

He wasn't stupid. He knew the truth.

SOLDIERs healed fast, that was true but it didn't mean they couldn't get hurt, didn't feel pain. He knew their was something wrong with Genesis and now with Zack and Sephiroth as well. They were holding secrets and despite his fruitless attempt to convince otherwise he couldn't help the knowledge that Angeal was soon to follow.

The night Sephiroth had gotten hurt, he had only been able to be near Sephiroth side because the others were too in shock to shoo him away. That hurt too. Sometimes, he felt like they truly didn't trust him enough.

"Probably..." Angeal cut into everyone's thoughts, looking mildly disgusted as he watched a group a table a way from them scarf down what looked vaguely like nachos...drenched in...well, everything.

"Zack come on. Let's find something...edible." The bearded first stated. Leaving no room for argument from the reluctant 2nd.

With the removal of the ravenettes the tension seemed to suddenly double. Cloud felt suffocated, he needed to breath.

"I need to use the bathroom!" He suddenly blurted out.

Genesis couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle and Sephiroth grew a small smile even as the blond practically bolted from the table. Face red in embarrassment.

* * *

><p>He. Was. Lost. Damn his curiosity. He was supposed to be using the bathroom or..err..pretending too at least. He was pretty sure he was somewhere on the second floor. Surrounded by nothing but cobwebs and dust. He could just barely here the rumble of voices from the bar below through the dangerously old looking floors.<p>

But he had though he had seen...something. Curiosity getting the better of him, he had gone after it.

He was always a curious child, maybe that was why he liked exploring so much.

That might explain why than more than one point in his life he wished he had became an adventure or treasure hunter. He chuckled, he even thought about being a delivery boy just so he could travel to other places.

But...He thought, then he may have never met his lovers. Let alone fell in love with them...

...Even if he was destined to be nothing but an infantryman for the rest of his life...he was happy and that was all that mattered, right?

It didn't stop the feeling that it just wasn't enough.

They were all SOLDIERs, some if not ShinRa's best, the top and what was he?

It felt sometimes that despite being welcome'd into their arms...there was still...a...barrier.

He sighed, maybe it truly was because of him. He was a scrawny looking infantry man. One if not the smallest in his year- More like all of ShinRa. Sure he had great book smarts and was pretty good with materia if Genesis and Zack's praising was anything to go by but still...

That stuff didn't really matter to a SOLDIER whose main job was practically just stabbing things, Zack had joked.

Why did he have to be so wea-

His train of thought was immediately halted as he let out a squeak, falling through the floor...or would have if not for the arm around his waist.

"It's easy to get lost ones thoughts. You should still be careful of your surroundings however. These floors haven't been taken care of in years. " The voice said, Cloud wasn't entirely sure if his beating heart was from his previous imminent fall or from the velvety voice. It was deep and dark yet soothing despite the slight roughness to it. All he knew it sounded like heaven similiar to Sephiroth's silky tone.

"Uh...th-thank you." He replied, before panic set in. Oh Gaia! This was the owner wasn't it? He was in so much trouble. He was going to have to pay for this wasn't he? Way to screw up Strife.

He wasn't sure when he was pulled away from the hole in the floor or was released but he was.

He sighed, silently trying to figure out how much this was going to cost him.

"If you are looking to get back down stairs, go out that door and take a right and keep going until you reach the stairs then take a left."

"Oh! Umm...thank you ag-." Cloud's breath caught in his throat. A part of him wanted to scream but it was stuck in his throat. Refusing to leave.

The man sighed.

"Right. You're not..." The man looked away, voice trailing off and leaving what was said inaudible to the infantryman.

The blond was paralyzed. This man didn't look human and sure he was used to glowing eyes but they were blue. Never red, ever.

Cloud couldn't help the small gasp leave him when those the pale fingers, even paler than Sephiroth's touch his cheek. He held back his flinch, surprised by the...tenderness of the touch. He closed his eyes suddenly when the man leaned in. Oh no, oh no no no. But nothing that the blond had expected had been done instead the mysterious man had whispered to him.

_'Be safe, Cloud'_

Be safe? From who? What? And how did he know his name?

Then touch was gone before he could open his eyes or reply. When he looked around, the man was no where to be found.

Nothing besides the hole in the floor and the disturbed dust in the air could tell that anyone had been there.

His heart was beating in an unfamiliar rhythm and he wasn't sure why. He shook his head, he felt light. Like any moment he would just float away or disappear.

He was terrified. Yet, a part of the blond was curious. The man certainly didn't appear to be human but the blond had seen...something in those eyes.

They were haunting. Red like fresh blood. Yet, instead of blood lust as the infantryman had expected he had seen something else.

His heart ached but he couldn't figure out why. There was something about the man that called out to him.

Who was that guy? He couldn't possibly be real, could he? What if he was a demon or, Gaia! He was a vampire wasn't he? He just had to be. No no, get a hold of yourself Strife. Your talking crazy.

Cloud sighed.

He could still feel the haunting caress of those fingers against his skin. It left him with an unexplained feeling.

* * *

><p>End for now. I am so done with this chapter. You will not believe how many time I wrote this chapter, had it perfect than hit one wrong button and no more. Woke my family up one night screaming NO NO NO NO! when I lost the last chapter after I had just came over my minor writer block.<p>

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter.

P.s. BC!Cloud is not in love with Vincent. Just to clear up any impending confusion. He's more curious if anything.


	11. Sham

Sorry about the late update. I haven't forgotten about this story. I've just been extremely sick lately.

Anyway mentions of past naughty bits, nothing explicit.

Vinstrife! AGSZC! AGSZC+V! I know some of you are worried how it will all fit together, just bare with me. You'll see it come together eventually but probably not in the way you think.

* * *

><p>Vincent watched from the shadows as the confused blond made his way back down to the bar. He would have never imagined he would ever meet the younger version of his teammate, leader...lover.<p>

Whatever you could call the man.

It was hard to explain.

Their relationship wasn't one built on 'I love you' or 'darling' or 'dear'. It wasn't ordinary, functional, healthy...

Rather it was one of necessity, longing...for something, anything, everything.

It was something only out of desperation for human contact.

There was a pull, a thing that they couldn't quite explain but felt one another could understand. Even though they both knew it was a shame. Knew it wasn't love at first sight or deep seated affection or even a sudden spurt of love.

**No.**

It was something that had just..._happened_. There weren't even words involved, really.

Just, actions.

It was something they simply did.

Yet, it seemed only natural.

The ravenette couldn't help but let out a small scoff. Nothing was natural about them, especially not of him.

Non the less he supposed that if everything is unnatural, it is bound to become natural eventually.

Therefore it is only natural that they would dissolve into whatever it was that they had now.

That didn't negate the unholy feelings and rotted emotions, all the grim reminders. The spectacle replaying within his mind every time they touched, each breath that lingered after their lips parted.

All it was, was just physical acts in which they could lose themselves. Get lost in a moment where the world didn't matter...didn't have to matter. Not past, not present and definitely not the future. Just the joining of bodies between two broken souls trying their best just to hang on.

He wasn't sure if they could even call it a relationship.

All of those gentle kisses and tender touches meant nothing. Hips connecting in passion weren't ones of love and lust, just instinct and feeling.

That was what it was supposed to be. What it should be. Should have been.

The ex-Turk's heart had a different opinion on the matter.

He had fallen in love.

...In love with a certain Cloud Strife. The spikey haired, sword wielding, Mako eyed blonde with a chip on his shoulder.

He hadn't even realized it at first. It had been slow but powerful in overtaking him. So different than the affection he had for Lucrecia.

He couldn't even explain why he felt the way he did.

And even though the pain from the last time still left portions of his heart exposed...

* * *

><p><em>Not to mention it had quite literally killed him.<em>

* * *

><p>...it did nothing to extinguish the kindling flame burning within his chest now.<p>

There was no smothering it. Even if he couldn't explain why his heart skipped a beat whenever in the younger man's presence.

But, it was more than just a physical attraction. That he knew for sure.

There was many reasons he could think of why he was attracted to the blond. However, it was much harder to pin down the exact thing that caused him to fall in love.

It didn't help matters that Cloud was just...Cloud.

People were inexplicably drawn to him. Maybe it was his voice or looks or even just the way he carried himself. Either way the ravenette had fallen victim to it.

He wasn't sure if it was the blond's small smiles..._the ones that showed just the faintest signs of dimples whenever he was pleased._

Maybe it was that soft twinkle in those blue eyes that shown with each moment of the man's silent excitement and happiness.

Even if it was something as simple as getting a new part for Fenrir or playing with the children that brought it out.

Perhaps it was his voice. The ex-Turk couldn't deny that the man's voice sent shivers through his body in more ways than one.

If only Cloud would talk more..._but that would be the kettle calling the pot black, wouldn't it?_

He once thought that it had to be the way the Nibel native moved. The ravenette much preferred guns to swords but the way Cloud handled one would have any man get down on their hands and knees and **beg** to be trained with one by the blond man.

And though Cloud was by nature a bit ruff around the edges and although he was by no means fragile,_ at least in the physical sense_. The blonde still somehow moved with a certain...elegance, grace, his poise unmatched like a unworldly being. All the while carrying an atmosphere the ravenette couldn't quite describe.

Vincent would be lying if he said he didn't spend a lot of his free time simply watching the sword wielder glide across an area. Whether it was the battlefield, arena, or a simple corn field.

It was something about the fluidity of the moment's, the glint of light off metal, and the flow of fabric as it danced around the blond that was absolutely mesmerizing.

Sometimes the ex-Turk couldn't take his eyes off of the man. Only realizing later that hours had passed.

Really it seemed at times as if the world was Cloud's stage. A monument to only heighten his beauty.

_Then he would realize what he was thinking and squash it. There was something dark about that kind of thinking and he didn't think Cloud would like it either..._

Still even with these dark thoughts pushing through the cracks of his mind. His eyes always lingered on the form of the one he could almost call love.

If only he could...Yet, he could not.

There was a nail biting fear. Always present, always clawing at him.

What if Cloud did not want him in the same way as he did him?

The blond showed no signs of interest outside their time together. Whether the sword wielder was deliberately ignoring his feelings and the ravenettes. Was simply oblivious or hadn't even thought of the subject yet; Vincent couldn't be sure what would be worse.

All he knew was that he didn't want to lose him.

He wanted to continue to be apart of Cloud's life and to have the man apart of his as well. He wanted to share their lives together, to be more than just bed partners.

He wanted to be the one that caused those sweet smiles, those glowing blues to shine in warmth.

He wanted to hear Cloud laugh and talk about nothing and everything.

He wanted...

He wanted to know when Cloud had become such a large part of his life. But he knew he had already lost himself to the blond the moment he had agreed to join AVALANCHE. Even if he had not loved the man back then. He had grown to care for him as a both a friend and comrade. Now it had grown as something more.

...but he knew where the man's heart lie...even now.

It didn't stop him from wishing...

For now at least, he would have to be content with pretend, their charade. Perhaps if he was lucky...Cloud could grow to love him...maybe.

He crossed his mind not for the first time...if anyone else had been sent to this time as well.

He could only hope for some, dread for others.

* * *

><p>AUTHOR'S NOTE<p>

Sorry a bit short but I wanted to get something out there for you guys and for you to get to see a bit of the relationship dynamic between Vincent and Cloud. Actual interactions are still a little while away.

Also Vincent's only been in Midgar about a day, two at most by this point.


End file.
